Disclaimer: Grown Folks Only
Amorous: am·o·rous – adjective
showing, feeling, or relating to sexual desire.
Let me introduce you to the “Experience”.
Are you loved, pleased and satisfied sexually? If you were a teacher, how would you teach this lesson? To provide a fully enjoyable Experience, one must be in tune with the body. It should be a full on Experience. Now understand, this type of Experience is not for everyone and not for every time. I am describing this as the teacher, professor if you will. There is so much that I would love to add to this blog, but I will keep it brief and save it for another blog. Shake off the conventional methods. Grab your student and lets begin.
Atmosphere and activity – Seduction starts before the kiss…
*Music should be perfect, slow but beautiful. Pay attention to the words of the songs you choose, it is important. Music is key because your body will begin to respond to the sound waves. Go turn on some music, I love Alina Baraz-Can I, Rick Braun/ Love Take Me, Somi- Ginger Me Slowly…The important part about this is to fully understand your own body first. This understanding will make you a better lover. During your dance, touch yourself and get completely comfortable doing so. This will require being naked and you may enjoy closing your eyes.
*Environment needs be dimly lit if possible. You want to be able to see what is about to take place. I adore setting the scene in a hotel room because it gives you the freedom to get creative and role play. If you ever have the opportunity to possess 24 full hours of their time, you could do some amazing things.
*Choose smells that are lightly scented with Patchouli, Jasmine, Rose or Ylang-ylang. These scents will stimulate the nervous system, attract sexual love and make you feel good.
*Fruit is always a great thing to have near the possible locations. This will keep energy up and reduce dry mouth from the kissing sessions. Water and coconut water is also helpful. Bedroom, hotel room, living room (always a great choice) and anywhere else that you can think of. If it is a hotel, choose the bed last, let’s not be boring!
So let’s get to the amorous intoxication… If you are intimate with a kisser, tease the lips a little. (That’s open to interpretation too)! Soft kisses with a gentle suck of the lip. Now use this time wisely, you’re making love not racing. During this time you should recognize your partners motion so be prepared to use it. My advice, slower is always better. It’s much more intense. Erotic. You feel every, single inch and drip of this session. The bodily responses should be warm, wet and hard. The better you work, the wetter the playground. Take your time. Intertwine those fingers and kiss often. During your breaks, touch, fondle and learn more about your bodies. Feed one another the fruit and lick the finger tips. Don’t be afraid to tell the person… “Teach me how to love you. Show me what you need”. This Experience is about a complete connection. When it is time for round 2, introduce something new. Feathers, blindfolds, toys, new positions )a lick, suck and ride all at once if you’re feeling frisky), absolutely no repeats… unless they beg for it. Again, take your time. Touch it, taste it, tease it. After round 3, it’s shower time. This shower should be delicious. Wash him, wash her, move the water from your faces but allow the room to steam. This is the opportunity to explore even further. Place her leg on the side of the tub or railing (anything stable), explore using your fingers or tongue (your choice). Don’t be selfish ladies, you’ll be exploring too. Work every inch of the shower and the body! The feeling is so amazing that you feel… intoxicated. When the shower is over, dry each other off. Go lay down together, what happens next is up to you. You may want to eat some real food though! (I see you biting your lip 😏)!
Be a partner and have a partner that is absolutely concerned with your pleasure. Can you taste it, can you smell them, can you feel them… Flashbacks will occur. Ok, go plan your sexscapade. Don’t wait, great sex awaits you…
Life is funny. Love is powerful. Sex is the intertwining of souls. Intoxication. Consumption. Energy. Overwhelming. The staircase to all things love, passion, soul joining….
Is it possible to control who you love and how you love them? Does sex complicate that?
I have this idea that when you have sex with a person, your souls are joining. No matter how brief, that person is apart of you forever. I didn’t respect or even consider this portion of the equation when I was in my 20’s. I heard it before, but wasn’t sure what was meant by it.
I can say this, when you have sex with a person that you are both in love with and/or love beforehand, it is a completely different type of energy. One could say it’s electrifying. Have you felt before?
The act of sex is by far one of the most personal, intimate and enlightening engagements you will participate in. I implore you to be cautious who you share that part of yourself with. If you are in fact deeply in love with or love the person, you’ve now forever changed the dynamics of your love. You may feel possessive, attached and much more involved. Why is that?
Seems normal once you’ve shared yourself with a person. Do you punish yourself for doing it if the other person doesn’t feel the same way or when you don’t know what they feel? Do you even know what you’re feeling? Expectations… Are those feelings overwhelming? Are those feelings fair and warranted? Now what….
If we were chosen for relationships based on our experience and qualifications, would you hire yourself? Do you believe that the things that you require in a relationship go both ways? Many times people have expectations for others, but they do not meet the standards they themselves are looking for. Is it fair to be so particular if you do not bring the same things to the table? Thoughts?
Today, we are going all the way there! You asked, I obliged. Let’s go…
If you close your eyes right now, can you feel his or her touch? Can you smell their perfume or cologne? Can you see their face and quite possibly taste them? It’s interesting, isn’t it? Is it intoxicating to the point where you can’t stop yourself? Do you have to stop yourself? Does it cross your mind so many times that it’s actually distracting? Are you wondering if they are thinking of you? How can you be so absolutely drawn to another human being? Is it the sex, the connection or the love? Is it worse for women or men? Is it the intertwining of souls that sticks to you? Are you drawn to one another without any help? Intimacy is not all about sex. Is this person your soul companion? Do you only get one soul companion? Can their be many? Let’s talk…
We all have a love language. The problem is, so many people are involved with others that do not know what it is. Furthermore, sometimes you don’t even know what yours is. Discovering how you love and how you need to be loved can take you down a path full of questions.
- What is my love language?
- Can I teach him or her?
- Is this person my soulmate?
- How important is intimacy?
- Are we meant to be together?
- Am I already happy?
- Am I relying on him/her to make me happy?
Can you look past intimacy in a relationship because of years in the relationship or love? Do you believe that love and intimacy are the same?
In my opinion: Soul mates, intimacy, love, sex, faithful, friendships… Powerful words with vastly different meanings. A soul mate is a person with feelings of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality. This type of person is your connection when you are not even speaking. They know what you need and how to love you, even if they are not the person that you are in-love with or involved with. You fall into a soul companion arena once you find that the person is deep in your soul, be mindful, you may not be married to or even dating this person.
With all this being said, sometimes you are meant to watch the person fall in love with other people and stand by and watch. Your position in their life may be to provide an unconditional love and remain consistent, but never their mate. You can be honest though. Your role may be the fixer or just the friend. If you have never crossed the sexually intimate line, this may not be too difficult, but it will suck! If you have crossed the sexually intimate line, this is a different story. Let’s just say that the sex was good, not bad, not out of this world to where your thoughts are skewed. Good, but the connection is great or at least you thought so. The connection feels electric, making you feel amorous intoxication (next blog post). Is it now a little better because of the previous bond between you? Now you have new feelings, but they aren’t new, just intensified. You must decide what to do with this emotional overload and do your best to get a grip.
It may be quite overwhelming at first, but you will recover and either go back to being the unconditional lover friend or move forward into a relationship. Still, you should be grateful to have one another, some people go a lifetime without this relationship. It is likely that you will just return to who you previously were. Simply because… All soul companions aren’t meant to be together.
I’m sure you’ve discovered that you have been this person at some or several points in your life.
There may be a point where you’ve become another person, but you’re unsure when it happened. So many things have brought you to this place. You’ve watched others become this person and you offered love and support to get them back on track. Now it’s your turn to take a spin on the downward spiral. This spiral has you completely out of character, overly emotional, questionable thoughts and constant confusion. All while pretending that it’s normal.
Now here comes the interesting part… So although you feel this way, you smile and make others comfortable and even happy. Heck, you even laugh and smile because you’ve somehow convinced yourself that you’re ok. Besides, that’s the way your people prefer you to be… Strong, together and unmoved. That makes them comfortable. Low and behold, the tears capture you because guess what? You’re not ok!
- Why is it that people feel the need to hide what they are actually going through, in order to make others feel better. Including their significant others.
- Why is it that people are so narcissistic that they have this idea that your only problems involve them?
- Why do people feel ashamed to be sad, depressed, stressed or just funky?
It’s ok. Really. It’s ok to not feel like yourself or to be any or all of the above ⬆️ emotions. Just find an outlet. Stop pretending because eventually it will catch up with you and it will be difficult to control.
So many of us are walking around just pretending and have no idea.
My advice… Take some time and try to find your way back to “YOU”!
So you’re in a relationship for 6 months ( timeframe may vary) and decide to move in together. However, you still have a wandering eye or lustful thoughts for others. So now you want your space and think it is time to take a break even though you really care deeply for this person. You now start second guessing whether or not you should even be in a relationship. Sound familiar? Well, let me give you my thoughts on the subject….
People that are in successful and happy marriages for 25 years, have found themselves looking at other people (which we discussed in the previous post). Having lustful thoughts can be very bad depending on the actions that follow. I’m a realist so please understand when I say the actions, not the thoughts, are the bigger deal. When you love someone, you have to consider how you would feel if the tables were turned. All these ingredients aren’t a recipe for staying single unless you want it to be. Everything worth having is worth fighting for. It’s not often that you meet a person that loves you completely, not for what you can do for them, but because of who you are. Their complete acceptance of you. We are all flawed with baggage but real love isn’t that common, so if you find it, grab it! If you decide to go along with a break, see how you feel without the person. If you feel empty, then rethink that decision. If you feel free, then you made the right decision.
The best start to a relationship, is a friendship. People are more forgiving of their friends, than their lovers. Friendships make the relationship stronger and places it on a better foundation. Things go wrong in love, but cutting and running because of fear or claustrophobia are not good reasons to lose out on a good thing. No one is perfect and loving is a learning process and relationship are balancing acts. Make it happen!
Sometimes, if only for a moment I wish I could be a kid again. Or at the very least, disappear for awhile to some quiet with no worries. As a kid, life was a bit easier, no decisions to make, no tears unless I was really bad or being spoiled, but most importantly my loved ones were near, dear, safe and sound. Well, mostly. I remember the first time my heart felt broken. I was 10 years old. My mom came into my room with a cup of chocolate pudding and sat down next to me. My Uncle had past. At 10, this man was much of my universe. His smile, his happiness, his laughter. Just one of the greatest humans to live. See, my grandfather died a few years prior but I didn’t know him well and hadn’t spent much time with him. I grew up in New Jersey near my uncle (his brother) but my grandfather lived in Baltimore. My uncle became my surrogate grandfather in a way. When he passed, it felt as if a part of me died as well.
Fast forward 25 years, my strongest rock, my grand foundation, and another piece of me is lying in wait of death and my heart is once again in shambles….
Waiting is the worse. Watching is sadness.
So yes, take me to a space of no worries. Even if only for a moment. I usually go silent when I deal with major life events, it’s helpful. I just chose to write this time. Find a way to express yourself and know that it’s ok to be sad at times, but don’t stay in that space too long. Release.
I won’t complain because much has been given in this life. So many blessings, exciting moments and laughter! Take a moment to smile at those thoughts. No one is untouchable, take time to appreciate them while they’re here…
Joy comes in the morning.