Author Archives: Btwn Lvrs
Every single day that you wake up and you’re in love is beautiful. It’s also another day in the minefield of things that could explode. Often times we only consider the happiness and joy of love. We fail one another when we don’t consider how impossible it is to not let another person down. To not be terrified of being hurt. To not process our emotions, speak our deep hurts and heal our traumas. We fail one another by thinking that we are best suited to walk this journey alone and if someone wants to walk it with us they must get behind us because beside us isn’t available due to Damage being our right hand. That comfort zone that we all run to when things don’t go our way, get complicated or are more than expected.
Just because we dropped the ball doesn’t mean we can’t pick it back up.
Humans are flawed. Love is intricate. Love is also easy when people are willing to do the work. I sit in my new belief and firmly attest to it. People may love differently but all of us are capable of altering that way if we truly love another by opening our hearts and choosing to do so. We chose how successful we become by doing the work and making sacrifices, love works the same way. Life is about growing, making mistakes and learning from them.
Be open to learning new ways of love. There’s never just one way of doing things. We not only need other people but we need real, solid and true connections.
Day by day, each and every one of us has a struggle. There are no small struggles. It is not selfish to want to make yourself a priority, it is necessary. Self-care is key and understanding what you want can be just as important as what you need. We go through so many things we never share with another soul, that could cause us to suffer in silence and be alone in the midst of darkness that most wish to never encounter. All those thoughts, fears, pains, feelings… just let them pour onto the paper. I’ve included what I call, “Tarah-isms: Food for Thought” to hopefully provide some motivation, comfort, support, insight and solace…..
People have expectations for us on a daily basis. Sometimes life moves so quickly that we do not even notice that we’ve adapted to who they want us to be. Along the way we lose ourselves and the intended direction of our journey. We find ourselves helping everyone and quenching their thirst from our own empty glass. A glass goes through a number of changes. Empty. Cracked. Shattered to pieces. Broken. You hear people say this but you’re so strong that it will never be you. The truth is, you saw the signs and watched yourself crumbling but you didn’t get the help you needed.
We are all human. Flawed. Fragile. We all require a certain something that we fail to discuss.
How do you get what you want, need and desire?
Sometimes we fall in love when life is happening. We fall in love before we are ready. Before our minds are mature enough for the intensity of the love. Our bodies too busy to slow down enough to feel love’s power. It’s hold. But our hearts know better than we do.
Real love. The true stuff. It never leaves, but sits back in the shadows waiting for its turn. Quiet, intense but patient. Love had time, but do we?
Some relationships that we label as love, are actually comfort, security, attachment, and fear, but not love. Love is not shut off. Love chooses, not the other way around. The terrified ones try their best to ignore it. Shove it in the back of their closets. They’ve never experienced being loved nor giving love. The perpetuated cycle. Out of sight, out of mind. How do you love someone today but not tomorrow?
Does that work or does it hinder the ability to understand love and understand yourself?
Does that shortchange you or the person? Both?
What if you never find that type of love again?
What if you never feel that raw, deep, passionate connection full of chemistry, sexiness, vulnerability, laughter, consideration, reciprocity, truth, appreciation, tenderness, depth, soul, and excitement again? Are you willing to lose them forever?
Are those things necessary?
Do they exist in one person? Have you found one another?
That person that crossed your mind just now. The one who’s lips you felt graze yours as you briefly closed your eyes. Who’s body you feel pressed against you. Who’s name lies on the tip of your tongue each night but your ego stops you from contacting…
Pay attention, cherish and let go! Just exhale and breathe in those feelings that resonate with you. So many take those feelings for granted. Stop half-assing love ❤️
You know the one you immediately thought of when you read the title. Yes, that one! Can you feel it?
The moment when you can finally release that breath you’ve been holding in the second your lips touch… Yes.
The engagement of your lips gently touching, arms wrapped around one another.
Maybe he sits you on the edge of the counter top and pulls you in as you wrap your legs around him. Your arms stretched around his neck while he slowly kisses your neck, your cheek, your lips.
Maybe you lay down while she breathes you in, rubs you down and finds herself more turned on simply by your smell and the feel of you. She slowly slides her hand behind your head to pull you closer to her with every deep breath. Your lips touch and there goes that breath again. Entangled. Immersed.
The kiss so deep and passionate that you’ve become lost in time and space.
The chemistry is not only unmatched, it feels unreal.
A great kiss is the match to a well lit fire….
A deep, slow and passion kiss will change the vibe in almost any setting. Lately it’s been either raining or sunny and beautiful! With that said, there’s been so many opportunities for sex in the rain, on the balcony, on top of the car, in the doorway….. Taking each moment in as if you’re frozen in time. Reveling in the warmth and strength of the connection.
Besides, it’s it the connection that makes the difference, right? A connection will change the intensity of any sexual experience. It’s an enchanting high! Take time to nurture the depth of your person. Release the vulnerable sides of you. Be more open, more honest. Admit when you need them, when you want them and when you miss them. Understand that a connection will lack depth if only one person comes openly and speaks freely. People often say they’re an open book but will silently hide chapters. Don’t be afraid of hearing they don’t have time at the moment. The chaser will grow tired, they want to be chased (desired) as well. Everyone makes time where there is none, when they really want something and someone. Give them a chance because the truth is, they want to feel needed, wanted and missed. Speak up and breathe your desires…
Each day is another chance to make a mistake, break a heart, start a fight, be rude, mean or disrespectful, but each day is also a chance to fix all of the above. Do people choose to not fix it because of pride, hurt or exhaustion? In a perfect world none of these things would even occur, but our world is real. We hurt the people we love, we get tired of being hurt, we say things with the intent to be dismissive, we fail to see the damage that we cause. Sometimes the fear of loving a person causes us to lash out and push them away in a heinous way. In efforts to heal ourselves, we break others or break the bond that may have been built on the internal brokenness of one or both parties. In order to heal, they must release, review and heal together. Or do they? Were they better before one another or after? There is no perfect love. Love is both beautiful and complicated because we are human. Is there an internal emptiness that resides where that person use to. Is their absence deeper than physical draw? Are they replaceable or did they create a world completely owned by the two of you. A dream.
“What happens to a dream deferred, does it dry up like a raisin in the sun”.
From the moment our feet hit the floor in the morning, people have ideas about what we should be doing with our life. Everything from what we should wear to who we should date/marry. How we should feel, grow and adapt to maltreatment and be grateful for it or ignore it until it happens again. There are rules for women that are set by other women, men, society as a whole. Our clothes dictate whether we should be taken seriously. Who we decide to date can create negative or positive views towards us, but not the men. We have to be a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. Be pure in virtue but have experience to please a man. Be ambitious but not aggressive or manly. Be smart but do not over shadow the man in the room. We are so use to others tearing us down that we tear one another down for the most irrelevant and unnecessary reasons. Being a woman comes with incredible hardships. Many of us are emotional creature and that is not easily understood by men. The fact is that women are created to love in a certain way. If that love is shunned, it changes her little by little. We are expected to take things with stride because we are told or expected to do so. Understand that I believe that healthy competition in the work place/ board room is necessary for the sake of business but constant criticism isn’t necessary.
The facts are simple, we women often bounce back from many situations. Why… because we are rock stars! We are nurturers, child bearers, wives, teachers, business women, CEO’s, authors, writers, publishers, artists, producers, musicians, actresses, directors, trainers, doctors, lawyers, psychologists… and we run the world! We do so much that it is time that we just recognize one another. Take the time out of your day to show appreciation to another woman. It is hard enough to live up to society’s unrealistic views, let’s just enjoy being women for the time being.