Category Archives: In General….
Be cautious with your words. True with your intentions. Release negative withholdings. Soothe your inner being. Move and act in love. Be genuine.
Today is a wonderful day to renew your energy. Focus on cleansing and healing. Share your energy with like minds. If you choose to make love or have sex today, be intentional in that. The energy you release and the energy you take in all play a role in your life. Be aware of what you are choosing to internalize.
The “strongest” people often take the longest to fall apart. This isn’t because they are immune to pain, but usually because they are so busy paying attention, helping and healing others that their needs fall to the waist side. When their limits are reached, it’s usually felt in a physical manifestation. It’s your body’s way of telling you that you are stressed, in shambles and slowly slipping away….
I want to take this time to ask you, both men and women, to take some time to assess yourself. What are you holding on to. What haunts you? Are you depressed? Do you know the symptoms? Are you aware that depression looks different in everyone? No two people are alike. It is not simply sleeping all day or closing yourself away. Please do not be afraid or embarrassed to look into whether or not this is you. Things can stay so buried that we never see them slipping back into the big picture. Too many of us are afraid or ashamed to be vulnerable. Possibly due to previous experience, but avoiding is damaging to yourself and everyone in your path.
Take yourself on a journey of self discovery and be completely honest with yourself.
Ladies, men battle depression and that has to be ok because they are human as well. Holding in what ails them will lead to self destruction. Men, depression in women is not the same as emotional symptoms of PMS. All of her feelings are not attributed to “her time of the month. Depression does not discriminate. Age, race, gender, sexual orientation, abled bodies, disabled, height, weight, none of the aforementioned.
The conversation, dialogue, narrative must change in order for us to heal as a collective.
Welcome to BTWN LVRS: Changing The Narrative
From children, some men were raised to be tough, strong, fearless, avoidant of crying or closeness, and under no means was vulnerability a trait that manhood requires.
These young boys were taught not cry when experiencing real physical or emotional pain. That their feelings and emotions don’t matter because only “girls display that type of stuff”! As they grow older their first love hurts them and they are told “toughen up, and find several more! Sadness isn’t normal! Love is for babies and little girls! Get them before they get you. Never tell them how you feel because they will use it against you. No one will ever love you anyway. Or lastly, mom is the only woman that truly loves me”. These young men have been exposed to and/or experienced physical, sexual and mental abuse that they’ve been too ashamed to speak on.
How can he learn true resolve if the human need to expel emotion is revoked?
This breeds men that are disconnected emotionally and mentally, are always “ok”, strong to a fault, emotionally and mentally exhausted, have a fear of intimacy and vulnerability, emotionally and mentally co-dependent on mom, incapable of committing, unknowingly depressed and breaking down from the inside out. This burden is a trend in their world.
The world hasn’t really been that considerate of the feelings of men, especially the feelings of Black men. In a country they fight for that also fears their very existence, they must humble themselves to avoid being any type of threat. They are prejudged and ridiculed solely based on appearance. We say we want men to lead and to command respect while placing the world on their shoulders and expecting them to have no feelings about the effects of such a burden.
It is time to allow men to not only express but for them to truly acknowledge and feel. How can he be at fault for understanding sex but not intimacy under these terms? If we as a society, continue to think it’s ok to call a man that speaks his truth “weak”, then we are also saying that it is ok for him to walk through life and damage as many people that are in his path. That my dear, includes his children as well. That cycle will continue to damage throughout the generations of young men and women until someone decides that it is time for change.
A man whom is healed, is a man who possesses unmatched strength!
I was watching divorce court one day and each person was saying “I still love him/her, but I want out”! So my question is, what makes the marriage last? In my opinion, it is the friendship. No matter how much you love your mate, you must be their friend first. A marriage can not blissfully succeed without it. My reason is simple…. Your friends are easily forgiven. They may lie to you or even talk behind your back, but somehow you say it’s ok and are friends once again. If at some point your spouse disagrees with you or tells you a white lie, oh it’s over!!! Call the lawyers and divide this stuff up!
So often do people say, Why can he/she not talk to me, the way they are so open with their friends. Well, why not open the door. First, leave the judgement, criticism, and snarky comments at the door. Your spouse wants a friend, not a tyrant, judge or jury. It’s never to late unless the proceedings have begun, but even then you never know. Marriages and relationships are on a rapid decline, when the vows were said, they were said with forever on mind. Now if it is most definitely a done deal , so be it! Just consider how you would want to be forgiven or how you interact with your friends.
Do opposites really attract??
I often hear people say opposites attract, but I wonder for how long. In the beginning people love what seems opposite to them, but after a couple of years things may greatly fizzle.
Example 1: you love how calm she is and the fact that she stays home to wait for you. On the other hand, you’re a social butterfly and the honeymoon phase is over. You want to do something, anything except stay home!! Now you’re second guessing if this is the right one for you because you compromised your wants. You understand compromise, but when does that become complete sacrifice.
Example 2: He is a ton of fun, but a little sarcastic. Not dumb, but could use a peep at current events. You’re the intellectual type, but he keeps you smiling. That was fun at first, but now you want to have stimulating conversation and that is a no go because of his lack there of.
Just an observation but do people become bored with what is consider the opposite?
Had to do some research for you 🙂
Ever try to do a strip tease or really wanted to, but didn’t want to be embarrassed? Well first thing first, men just enjoy the thought of knowing that you won’t be wearing clothes long 🙂 Just a few tips on some spicy techniques to add to your routine. Set the video camera up first!!!!
1. Make sure he is seated in the middle of the room.
2. Try a business suit. No shirt underneth, just a bra, no panties. Make sure the breast are sitting up nicely and button the jacket. (There is something enticing about a woman in a business suit).
3. Very high heels. (Heels accentuate the legs and buttocks).
4. Sexy music. (choose music that your man enjoys, he will love it). Something you can groove to!
5. Make sure you smell tasty.
6. Go slow and start from across the room. Keep heels on at all times. Bottoms (hopefully a skirt, not pants) will come off first.
7. Stand in front of his chair and use any leg to place your foot in his chair. Bend over towards him, kiss him. Tease each lip with soft kisses and gently suck. Step back down, turn around, give him a little lap dance. Pop back up really slow and sexy, with your butt near his face and pull the skirt down slowly, tease a little. All that’s left are the jacket, heels, and panties. What happens next is up to you!! Enjoy!!
If we were chosen for relationships based on our experience and qualifications, would you hire yourself? Do you believe that the things that you require in a relationship go both ways? Many times people have expectations for others, but they do not meet the standards they themselves are looking for. Is it fair to be so particular if you do not bring the same things to the table? Thoughts?
So you’re in a relationship for 6 months ( timeframe may vary) and decide to move in together. However, you still have a wandering eye or lustful thoughts for others. So now you want your space and think it is time to take a break even though you really care deeply for this person. You now start second guessing whether or not you should even be in a relationship. Sound familiar? Well, let me give you my thoughts on the subject….
People that are in successful and happy marriages for 25 years, have found themselves looking at other people (which we discussed in the previous post). Having lustful thoughts can be very bad depending on the actions that follow. I’m a realist so please understand when I say the actions, not the thoughts, are the bigger deal. When you love someone, you have to consider how you would feel if the tables were turned. All these ingredients aren’t a recipe for staying single unless you want it to be. Everything worth having is worth fighting for. It’s not often that you meet a person that loves you completely, not for what you can do for them, but because of who you are. Their complete acceptance of you. We are all flawed with baggage but real love isn’t that common, so if you find it, grab it! If you decide to go along with a break, see how you feel without the person. If you feel empty, then rethink that decision. If you feel free, then you made the right decision.
The best start to a relationship, is a friendship. People are more forgiving of their friends, than their lovers. Friendships make the relationship stronger and places it on a better foundation. Things go wrong in love, but cutting and running because of fear or claustrophobia are not good reasons to lose out on a good thing. No one is perfect and loving is a learning process and relationship are balancing acts. Make it happen!