If you’ve ever said the words “I’m in love with you” you completely understand where I am headed with this post. I feel like the people that met the love of their life at a young age, got married and are happy (what I call “one lovers”), are lucky. Not because they have been together forever, but because they have only been in love with one person. As a woman, it is difficult, damn near impossible to shake a person you’ve loved, been in love with and shared yourself with on an intimate level. The reason I say that the “one lovers” are lucky is because they don’t have the feel the pull of love. Just a thought…
If we were chosen for relationships based on our experience and qualifications, would you hire yourself? Do you believe that the things that you require in a relationship go both ways? Many times people have expectations for others, but they do not meet the standards that they themselves are looking for. Is it fair to be so particular if you do not bring the same things to the table? Thoughts?
So you’re in a relationship for 6 months ( timeframe may vary) and decide to move in together. However, you still have a wandering eye or lustful thoughts for others. So now you want your space and think it is time to take a break even though you really care deeply for this person. You now start second guessing whether or not you should even be in a relationship. Sound familiar? Well, let me give you my thoughts on the subject….
People that are in successful and happy marriages for 25 years, have found themselves looking at other people (which we discussed in the previous post). Having lustful thoughts can be very bad depending on the actions that follow. I’m a realist so please understand when I say the actions, not the thoughts, are the bigger deal. When you love someone, you have to consider how you would feel if the tables were turned. All these ingredients aren’t a recipe for staying single unless you want it to be. Everything worth having is worth fighting for. It’s not often that you meet a person that loves you completely, not for what you can do for them, but because of who you are. Their complete acceptance of you. We are all flawed with baggage but real love isn’t that common, so if you find it, grab it! If you decide to go along with a break, see how you feel without the person. If you feel empty, then rethink that decision. If you feel free, then you made the right decision.
The best start to a relationship, is a friendship. People are more forgiving of their friends, than their lovers. Friendships make the relationship stronger and places it on a better foundation. Things go wrong in love, but cutting and running because of fear or claustrophobia are not good reasons to lose out on a good thing. No one is perfect and loving is a learning process and relationship are balancing acts. Make it happen!
Do opposites really attract??
I often hear people say opposites attract, but I wonder for how long. In the beginning people love what seems opposite to them, but after a couple of years things die.
Example 1: you love how calm she is and the fact that she stays home to wait for you. On the other hand, you’re a social butterfly and the honeymoon phase is over. You want to do something, anything except stay home!! Now you’re second guessing if this is the right one for you because you compromised your wants. You understand compromise, but when does that become complete sacrifice.
Example 2: He is a ton of fun, but a little sarcastic. Not dumb, but could use a peep at current events. You’re the intellectual type, but he keeps you smiling. That was fun at first, but now you want to have stimulating conversation and that is a no go because of his lack there of.
Just an observation but do people become bored with what is consider the opposite??
Valentines day in and of itself can be called a gimmick for the card and chocolate companies. Yes, I can agree to that. Yes, we could also go into the Valentines Day massacre, but that is not what is being celebrated.
Any day that allows you to show your loved one how much you love them, really matters. I know, I know, some of you are thinking “you should show them everyday”, your right. That also means that a birthday should be a everyday occasion since the gift of life is to be celebrated and tomorrow is never promised. Bottom line, people have very busy lives and at times they may not have time to gush all over their person, that doesn’t mean they love them less. Even if you are single with children, take them to dinner or have a picnic at home with them, their your loved ones too. If you are single with no kids, go out to a party, there are plenty of them 🙂 Valentines day gives you that special set aside day to really focus on only them. And besides, its a ton of fun. Lighten up and enjoy it!! Make it a bi monthly thing to have your own Valentines day. So, take out the cards and candy and focus on the love. When you have it, it makes the day even more special. Valentines Day is what you make, but try not to spoil for the others that enjoy it. Love to be loved and smile!