Love/Job requirements??

If we were chosen for relationships based on our experience and qualifications, would you hire yourself? Do you believe that the things that you require in a relationship go both ways? Many times people have expectations for others, but they do not meet the standards they themselves are looking for. Is it fair to be so particular if you do not bring the same things to the table? Thoughts?

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The Power of Intimacy…

Today, we are going all the way there! You asked, I obliged. Let’s go…

If you close your eyes right now, can you feel his or her touch? Can you smell their perfume or cologne? Can you see their face and quite possibly taste them? It’s interesting, isn’t it? Is it intoxicating to the point where you can’t stop yourself? Do you have to stop yourself? Does it cross your mind so many times that it’s actually distracting? Are you wondering if they are thinking of you? How can you be so absolutely drawn to another human being? Is it the sex, the connection or the love? Is it worse for women or men? Is it the intertwining of souls that sticks to you? Are you drawn to one another without any help? Intimacy is not all about sex. Is this person your soul companion? Do you only get one soul companion? Can their be many? Let’s talk…

We all have a love language. The problem is, so many people are involved with others that do not know what it is. Furthermore, sometimes you don’t even know what yours is. Discovering how you love and how you need to be loved can take you down a path full of questions.

  • What is my love language?
  • Can I teach him or her?
  • Is this person my soulmate?
  • How important is intimacy?
  • Are we meant to be together?
  • Am I already happy?
  • Am I relying on him/her to make me happy?

Can you look past intimacy in a relationship because of years in the relationship or love? Do you believe that love and intimacy are the same?

In my opinion: Soul mates, intimacy, love, sex, faithful, friendships… Powerful words with vastly different meanings. A soul mate is a person with feelings of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality. This type of person is your connection when you are not even speaking. They know what you need and how to love you, even if they are not the person that you are in-love with or involved with. You fall into a soul companion arena once you find that the person is deep in your soul, be mindful, you may not be married to or even dating this person.

With all this being said, sometimes you are meant to watch the person fall in love with other people and stand by and watch. Your position in their life may be to provide an unconditional love and remain consistent, but never their mate. You can be honest though. Your role may be the fixer or just the friend. If you have never crossed the sexually intimate line, this may not be too difficult, but it will suck! If you have crossed the sexually intimate line, this is a different story. Let’s just say that the sex was good, not bad, not out of this world to where your thoughts are skewed. Good, but the connection is great or at least you thought so. The connection feels electric, making you feel amorous intoxication (next blog post). Is it now a little better because of the previous bond between you? Now you have new feelings, but they aren’t new, just intensified. You must decide what to do with this emotional overload and do your best to get a grip.

It may be quite overwhelming at first, but you will recover and either go back to being the unconditional lover friend or move forward into a relationship. Still, you should be grateful to have one another, some people go a lifetime without this relationship. It is likely that you will just return to who you previously were. Simply because… All soul companions aren’t meant to be together.


The Great Pretender…

I’m sure you’ve discovered that you have been this person at some or several points in your life.


Well look at you! Always on point and unbothered. The epitome of a well balanced person. Lie!! Hello Pretender.

There may be a point where you’ve become another person, but you’re unsure when it happened. So many things have brought you to this place. You’ve watched others become this person and you offered love and support to get them back on track. Now it’s your turn to take a spin on the downward spiral. This spiral has you completely out of character, overly emotional, questionable thoughts and constant confusion. All while pretending that it’s normal.


Now here comes the interesting part… So although you feel this way, you smile and make others comfortable and even happy. Heck, you even laugh and smile because you’ve somehow convinced yourself that you’re ok. Besides, that’s the way your people prefer you to be… Strong, together and unmoved. That makes them comfortable. Low and behold, the tears capture you because guess what? You’re not ok!

  • Why is it that people feel the need to hide what they are actually going through, in order to make others feel better. Including their significant others.
  • Why is it that people are so narcissistic that they have this idea that your only problems involve them?
  • Why do people feel ashamed to be sad, depressed,  stressed or just funky?

It’s ok. Really. It’s ok to not feel like yourself or to be any or all of the above ⬆️ emotions. Just find an outlet. Stop pretending because eventually it will catch up with you and it will be difficult to control.

So many of us are walking around just pretending and have no idea.

My advice… Take some time and try to find your way back to “YOU”!
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Am I destined to stay single??

So you’re in a relationship for 6 months ( timeframe may vary) and decide to move in together. However, you still have a wandering eye or lustful thoughts for others. So now you want your space and think it is time to take a break even though you really care deeply for this person. You now start second guessing whether or not you should even be in a relationship. Sound familiar? Well, let me give you my thoughts on the subject….

People that are in successful and happy marriages for 25 years, have found themselves looking at other people (which we discussed in the previous post). Having lustful thoughts can be very bad depending on the actions that follow. I’m a realist so please understand when I say the actions, not the thoughts, are the bigger deal. When you love someone, you have to consider how you would feel if the tables were turned. All these ingredients aren’t a recipe for staying single unless you want it to be. Everything worth having is worth fighting for. It’s not often that you meet a person that loves you completely, not for what you can do for them, but because of who you are. Their complete acceptance of you. We are all flawed with baggage but real love isn’t that common, so if you find it, grab it! If you decide to go along with a break, see how you feel without the person. If you feel empty, then rethink that decision. If you feel free, then you made the right decision.

The best start to a relationship, is a friendship. People are more forgiving of their friends, than their lovers. Friendships make the relationship stronger and places it on a better foundation. Things go wrong in love, but cutting and running because of fear or claustrophobia are not good reasons to lose out on a good thing. No one is perfect and loving is a learning process and relationship are balancing acts. Make it happen!


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Sometimes…

Sometimes, if only for a moment I wish I could be a kid again. Or at the very least, disappear for awhile to some quiet with no worries. As a kid, life was a bit easier, no decisions to make, no tears unless I was really bad or being spoiled, but most importantly my loved ones were near, dear, safe and sound. Well, mostly. I remember the first time my heart felt broken. I was 10 years old. My mom came into my room with a cup of chocolate pudding and sat down next to me. My Uncle had past. At 10, this man was much of my universe. His smile, his happiness, his laughter. Just one of the greatest humans to live. See, my grandfather died a few years prior but I didn’t know him well and hadn’t spent much time with him. I grew up in New Jersey near my uncle (his brother) but my grandfather lived in Baltimore. My uncle became my surrogate grandfather in a way. When he passed, it felt as if a part of me died as well.

Fast forward 25 years, my strongest rock, my grand foundation, and another piece of me is lying in wait of death and my heart is once again in shambles….

Waiting is the worse. Watching is sadness.

So yes, take me to a space of no worries. Even if only for a moment. I usually go silent when I deal with major life events, it’s helpful. I just chose to write this time. Find a way to express yourself and know that it’s ok to be sad at times, but don’t stay in that space too long. Release.

I won’t complain because much has been given in this life. So many blessings, exciting moments and laughter! Take a moment to smile at those thoughts. No one is untouchable, take time to appreciate them while they’re here…

Joy comes in the morning.


The Battle…

“When I had nothing more to lose, I was given everything. When I ceased to be who I am, I found myself. When I experienced humiliation and yet kept on walking, I understood that I was free to choose my destiny.”

Paulo Coelho

Sometimes you find yourself in an uphill battle with war waged against you for unknown reasons. Even when you fight, your heart is the armor but the outcome is only known by your opponent. Often times so many of us travel the world with unhealed hearts that we purposely find numerous faults with others, become careless with others feelings, humiliate them, hurt them, and force them away to avoid dealing with matters of the heart. Maybe they entered your life with the goal to destroy, hurt or dismantle. Or maybe it’s simply… hurt people, hurt people. Fear drives people. Confusion scares people. Loneliness becomes defensiveness. Darkness becomes the shadow.

If you’ve been there, be a light for the walk up the path. The most unexpected things and unexpected people become healing. It is no easy feat nor can it be forced. Being the light doesn’t make you flawless or indestructible, it makes you willing and capable yet still a work in progress.

There have been many things things that were suppose to break you in your ethereal state but you are resilient with a purpose filled with love, forgiveness, hope, wisdom and passion to a fault. With that said….protect your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.


Freedom of Love…

The most confusing parts about love, is being in it by yourself and freeing yourself to allow it. That moment when you realize that you’ve fallen in the deep end with no life jacket. How does the other person feel? Do they feel territorial, is it self preservation or love? You have no real idea. You’re a lover by nature, but not easy to trust and give your heart. So when you do, it’s pretty authentic. Your natural empathic abilities lead you to care deeply for many but only truly love a few. You had no plans of falling, but isn’t that how life works? Loving freely can be a catch 22 for those that have control issues. You have this constant urge to take it back but it’s already out there. The ultimate level of vulnerability. It says that not only have you allowed yourself to give of yourself freely, but you’ve given up controlling what life says should be freed. Love.

Why must we complicate it? Either you do or you don’t, right? Ha!! Complication is the human way! How do you even know when someone truly loves you? Does it matter if it’s one-sided? What about love languages? Is it the verbiage of “I love you”? The way they act? Which means more to you? Does not knowing make you feel deflated? Lessen your love? Wish you could rewind and erase it?

I often wonder why so many people are afraid of loving or speaking in love. Is it because of the possibility of being hurt? Unrequited love? Their past lovers? Childhood? Loving too soon? Isn’t that a testament to the other person? I’m a firm believer that you get one chance at this life. Even if reincarnation, recycling of souls or any variation of such actually occurs, you won’t know. Therefore, we get this one shot. Stop being so afraid of loving people. Living is about loving. I know, I know, loving without being loved back sucks ass! Trust me, I know. The heart wants what the heart wants. When it’s not returned, it kind of creates that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach and you just want to run away (see, told you I understand)! That doesn’t mean that closing yourself off is the healthy option. It’s not! That’s their issue to address in life, not yours. Be willing to walk that walk of love with them, but only if you know it’s what they want as well. Never force love. Love is the easy part. If you’re not sure, take a few steps back to reassess. Give your heart a break. Give them the space they may need. Be open and honest with both your words and your actions. Sometimes you must let that person go to remain the loving being that you are. Someone will come along and thrive on that love, but you must be open and willing.

If you’re the person on the opposite end of the lover, consider their feelings and adjust accordingly. Sometimes that involves letting them go because you can’t be what they need. Life’s too short for anything else.

Www.BTWNLVRS.com


Soul Ties…

The subtle looks, the gentle kisses, the long hugs, their scent, the soft touches….

Human touch is the most amazing feeling in the world. When you have an indescribable connection with another person, it is energizing. Yet, there is something much deeper for some people. Connections, energy, bonds… soul ties. The most unique thing is their ability to activate your other senses prior to touching you. The moment they walk in the door, you follow them with your eyes. A simple message. A photo. Their voice makes you smile. Their scent fills the room, it’s erotic and drives you crazy. The kiss of their soft lips. Their hands on any part of your body is enough to make your knees weak. The mere thought of them. If you’re lucky, and their scent lingers on your clothes, you close your eyes and reminisce when they are not around.

This person has this effect no matter where they are. Whether it’s been hours, days, months or years, their effect has staying power. I have to imagine that their souls or spirits have bonded in such a way that they have become inseparable. How else can you explain people being apart for 15, 20, 30 or 40 years and suddenly they find themselves together again. Not just together but intertwined as if not a moment has passed between them. There’s an energy that slowly pulled them back together when they themselves never saw it coming. It’s cute, intriguing, endearing and some may be envious of a connection that deep because it’s rare in a time when separation is popular. A soul tie. A tie so deep that your physical shell can’t deny it even when it tries. That type of tie is interlaced with love, passion, excitement, lust, and anxiety. The Yin to your Yang that you may not have ever believed in until now. Your wavelengths are the same without you being consciously aware. You may supplement other relationships trying to retain that same feeling but they truly are one in a million. A magnificent unicorn. It’s hard to believe that these types of people exists. Hopefully the universe has deemed you lucky enough to not only have met this person but to have them in your life in a permanent capacity. Because the thing is, this person also brings you balance. A clairvoyant way of knowing what to say and what you need, even when you don’t. They make your life easier and soothe you with their words and even more so with their presence.

They are not perfect, they are your ocean. Deep and calming. Your quiet place of peace. To simplify it as Love, is to diminish its power a bit. It’s deeper and if it exists in your life, I don’t need to explain any further.

Be well. Be loved. And live this life like there’s no tomorrow because one day there won’t be.

Www.TarahDavidson.com


Fantasy…

It’s Freaky Friday, so why not!!!

Ah yes… yours is so sexy, you feel it every time you climb into bed, daydream at your desk, stand in the shower, or have mundane conversations with people. That fantasy crosses your mind every silent moment you have. You know the one….

You close your eyes and it begins…. you’re suddenly in a room. A beautifully decorated room. The person comes over to greet you. Sweet kisses, hand holding, pressed against the door because the passion doesn’t allow you to move much further. That kiss is delicious, intoxicating. You wore a dress because… that’s sexy for this fantasy. Hands gently rub your thighs up your dress to remove your panties. You’re carried to the nearest wall mirror and passionately kissed on your lips, cheeks, and neck. He stands you up on the floor and turns you toward the wall length mirror. He pulls your dress up and over. Kisses the length of your spine, shoulders, neck. Your eyes are open as you watch him in the mirror. His hands explore every inch as he gently bends you over. You brace on the mirror as passionate love making ensues. Before your knees get weaker, he pulls out and carries you to the bed to lay you down. He kisses you down your body. Neck, collarbone, chest, breasts, stomach, hips, a sweet kiss on the yoni, thighs, toes. Back up the legs, thighs, as he gently parts your legs, he wraps his arms around your thighs and pulls your yogi closer to his lips. As he kisses, licks, kisses, licks…. your back arches, you bite your lip, reaching down to caress his head as you moan his name and tell him how you feel. He’s like an artist painting a picture with his tongue. Soft, slow, precise. He kisses your hips and thighs as he enters you deeply. You gasp! The thrusts are long, deep and it’s soaking wet…… Good morning dolls! Happy Friday!

Www.TarahDavidson.com


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