Love or friendship?

I was watching divorce court one day and each person was saying “I still love him/her, but I want out”! So my question is, what makes the marriage last? In my opinion, it is the friendship. No matter how much you love your mate, you must be their friend first. A marriage can not blissfully succeed without it. My reason is simple…. Your friends are easily forgiven. They may lie to you or even talk behind your back, but somehow you say it’s ok and are friends once again. If at some point your spouse disagrees with you or tells you a white lie, oh it’s over!!! Call the lawyers and divide this stuff up!
So often do people say, Why can he/she not talk to me, the way they are so open with their friends. Well, why not open the door. First, leave the judgement, criticism, and snarky comments at the door. Your spouse wants a friend, not a tyrant, judge or jury. It’s never to late unless the proceedings have begun, but even then you never know. Marriages and relationships are on a rapid decline, when the vows were said, they were said with forever on mind. Now if it is most definitely a done deal , so be it! Just consider how you would want to be forgiven or how you interact with your friends.

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Opposites- Setisoppo: Do they attract??

Do opposites really attract??
I often hear people say opposites attract, but I wonder for how long. In the beginning people love what seems opposite to them, but after a couple of years things may greatly fizzle.

Example 1: you love how calm she is and the fact that she stays home to wait for you. On the other hand, you’re a social butterfly and the honeymoon phase is over. You want to do something, anything except stay home!! Now you’re second guessing if this is the right one for you because you compromised your wants. You understand compromise, but when does that become complete sacrifice.
Example 2: He is a ton of fun, but a little sarcastic. Not dumb, but could use a peep at current events. You’re the intellectual type, but he keeps you smiling. That was fun at first, but now you want to have stimulating conversation and that is a no go because of his lack there of.

Just an observation but do people become bored with what is consider the opposite?


Striptease….Freaky Friday!

Had to do some research for you 🙂

Ever try to do a strip tease or really wanted to, but didn’t want to be embarrassed? Well first thing first, men just enjoy the thought of knowing that you won’t be wearing clothes long 🙂 Just a few tips on some spicy techniques to add to your routine. Set the video camera up first!!!!

1. Make sure he is seated in the middle of the room.

2. Try a business suit. No shirt underneth, just a bra, no panties. Make sure the breast are sitting up nicely and button the jacket. (There is something enticing about a woman in a business suit).

3. Very high heels. (Heels accentuate the legs and buttocks).

4. Sexy music. (choose music that your man enjoys, he will love it). Something you can groove to!

5. Make sure you smell tasty.

6. Go slow and start from across the room. Keep heels on at all times. Bottoms (hopefully a skirt, not pants) will come off first.

7. Stand in front of his chair and use any leg to place your foot in his chair. Bend over towards him, kiss him. Tease each lip with soft kisses and gently suck. Step back down, turn around, give him a little lap dance. Pop back up really slow and sexy, with your butt near his face and pull the skirt down slowly, tease a little. All that’s left are the jacket, heels, and panties. What happens next is up to you!! Enjoy!!


Love, life and all its challenges

I have decided to focus on this blog more often. Love and life can be quite complicated and discussions should take place. I chose this format so that you may ask questions and respond anonymously. Please feel free to suggest topics, invite friends  and join the conversations.

Many of us find ourselves in love. We do not always remember when it started but it felt good. Somehow in the years of togetherness you may feel like you lost yourself or lost something. You have been an individual for so long that you struggle to conform to your new life. You love your mate, but the push and pull can get tough. The smallest thing can quite possibly set you off. Or you just don’t quite know why they are so mad about such a small issue. Sound familiar? Whether you are married or not is irrelevant, because each relationship requires a certain amount of conformity. The roles then begin, who takes the kids to school, wakes up at 5 to feed the crying baby, who does the dishes, or cooks. In the mist of trying to make this thing work, you still try to keep a little of yourself for yourself.

Question: What is the best thing about love, relationships and marriage?

Question: Have your views changed since you’ve been married?

Question: How do you achieve keeping a little of yourself?

Question: What do you find most difficult with relationships whether you are single or involved?

Question: What is the most attractive thing in a man or woman?

Singles: What are the issues that come with being single?

If you find it hard to date, what could be done to improve it?

Would you be receptive to singles event that are tailored to your standards?

Being single comes with perks and negatives, Im sure. What are they?

** If you would like to comment but do not want to use your real name, feel free, we would love to hear from you. Your email address is required to comment, but no one can see it. It is for approval purposes.

 


Self Pleasure…


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The older I get, I run into more women (especially young ones) that can not imagine pleasuring themselves. I hear things like ” it does nothing for me” or ” my man does it right, so I don’t need to do it”. One has nothing to do with the other. If you have a difficult time pleasing yourself, how can anyone else please you? Just curious. It’s a true state of relaxation and no pressure of satisfying anyone but yourself at the moment. You learn new things about yourself 😉

How do you know everything you like or how to teach him your best number, if you don’t know it? Have you ever had that climb up the wall and electrifying passion that caused an internal explosion before you even get started? Amazing right? Well, real self pleasure is all enjoyment and only if you desire it. No pressure.

There is a whole different type of orgasm that occurs when you’re controlling it. It helps you get to know yourself as a woman. It is empowering! No, it does not replace your mate or make you want them any less, it can enhance what you have. When in a long term monogamous relationship, the same old thing becomes mundane. If you’re single, you may want to consider it. Life is too short to be unsatisfied.

I know it is not for everyone, but at least try it before you completely disregard it. I even have some toys that I highly recommend! So feel free to inquire. Don’t be ashamed of achieving an amazing orgasm. Being in touch with your own sexuality is an amazing feeling and you’re allowed to have it. We will all get well acquainted in this area with self confidence and self sexual gratification.

Until next time…
Let’s get spicy!!!!!


Amorous Intoxication…

Disclaimer: Grown Folks Only

Amorous: am·o·rous – adjective

  • showing, feeling, or relating to sexual desire.
  • synonyms: romanticlustfulsexualerotic

    Lips licked…. The power of interpretation.

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    Let me introduce you to the “Experience”.

  • Are you loved, pleased and satisfied sexually? If you were a teacher, how would you teach this lesson? To provide a fully enjoyable Experience, one must be in tune with the body. It should be a full on Experience. Now understand, this type of Experience is not for everyone and not for every time. I am describing this as the teacher, professor if you will. There is so much that I would love to add to this blog, but I will keep it brief and save it for another blog. Shake off the conventional methods. Grab your student and lets begin.

  • Atmosphere and activity – Seduction starts before the kiss…

  • *Music should be perfect, slow but beautiful. Pay attention to the words of the songs you choose, it is important. Music is key because your body will begin to respond to the sound waves. Go turn on some music, I love Alina Baraz-Can I, Rick Braun/ Love Take Me, Somi- Ginger Me Slowly…The important part about this is to fully understand your own body first. This understanding will make you a better lover. During your dance, touch yourself and get completely comfortable doing so. This will require being naked and you may enjoy closing your eyes.

  • *Environment needs be dimly lit if possible. You want to be able to see what is about to take place. I adore setting the scene in a hotel room because it gives you the freedom to get creative and role play. If you ever have the opportunity to possess 24 full hours of their time, you could do some amazing things.

  • *Choose smells that are lightly scented with Patchouli, Jasmine, Rose or Ylang-ylang. These scents will stimulate the nervous system, attract sexual love and make you feel good.

  • *Fruit is always a great thing to have near the possible locations. This will keep energy up and reduce dry mouth from the kissing sessions. Water and coconut water is also helpful. Bedroom, hotel room, living room (always a great choice) and anywhere else that you can think of. If it is a hotel, choose the bed last, let’s not be boring!

  • So let’s get to the amorous intoxication… If you are intimate with a kisser, tease the lips a little. (That’s open to interpretation too)!  Soft kisses with a gentle suck of the lip. Now use this time wisely, you’re making love not racing. During this time you should recognize your partners motion so be prepared to use it. My advice, slower is always better. It’s much more intense. Erotic. You feel every, single inch and drip of this session. The bodily responses should be warm, wet and hard. The better you work, the wetter the playground. Take your time. Intertwine those fingers and kiss often. During your breaks, touch, fondle and learn more about your bodies. Feed one another the fruit and lick the finger tips. Don’t be afraid to tell the person… “Teach me how to love you. Show me what you need”. This Experience is about a complete connection. When it is time for round 2, introduce something new. Feathers, blindfolds, toys, new positions )a lick, suck and ride all at once if you’re feeling frisky), absolutely no repeats… unless they beg for it. Again, take your time. Touch it, taste it, tease it. After round 3, it’s shower time. This shower should be delicious. Wash him, wash her, move the water from your faces but allow the room to steam. This is the opportunity to explore even further. Place her leg on the side of the tub or railing (anything stable), explore using your fingers or tongue (your choice). Don’t be selfish ladies, you’ll be exploring too. Work every inch of the shower and the body! The feeling is so amazing that you feel… intoxicated. When the shower is over, dry each other off. Go lay down together, what happens next is up to you. You may want to eat some real food though! (I see you biting your lip 😏)!

  • Be a partner and have a partner that is absolutely concerned with your pleasure.  Can you taste it, can you smell them, can you feel them… Flashbacks will occur. Ok, go plan your sexscapade. Don’t wait, great sex awaits you…

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Sex and Love…

Life is funny. Love is powerful. Sex is the intertwining of souls.  Intoxication. Consumption. Energy. Overwhelming. The staircase to all things love, passion, soul joining….

Is it possible to control who you love and how you love them? Does sex complicate that?

I have this idea that when you have sex with a person, your souls are joining. No matter how brief, that person is apart of you forever. I didn’t respect or even consider this portion of the equation when I was in my 20’s. I heard it before, but wasn’t sure what was meant by it.

I can say this, when you have sex with a person that you are both in love with and/or love beforehand, it is a completely different type of energy. One could say it’s electrifying. Have you felt before?

The act of sex is by far one of the most personal, intimate and enlightening engagements you will participate in. I implore you to be cautious who you share that part of yourself with. If you are in fact deeply in love with or love the person, you’ve now forever changed the dynamics of your love. You may feel possessive, attached and much more involved. Why is that?

Seems normal once you’ve shared yourself with a person. Do you punish yourself for doing it if the other person doesn’t feel the same way or when you don’t know what they feel?  Do you even know what you’re feeling? Expectations… Are those feelings overwhelming? Are those feelings fair and warranted? Now what….


Love/Job requirements??

If we were chosen for relationships based on our experience and qualifications, would you hire yourself? Do you believe that the things that you require in a relationship go both ways? Many times people have expectations for others, but they do not meet the standards they themselves are looking for. Is it fair to be so particular if you do not bring the same things to the table? Thoughts?


The Power of Intimacy…

Today, we are going all the way there! You asked, I obliged. Let’s go…

If you close your eyes right now, can you feel his or her touch? Can you smell their perfume or cologne? Can you see their face and quite possibly taste them? It’s interesting, isn’t it? Is it intoxicating to the point where you can’t stop yourself? Do you have to stop yourself? Does it cross your mind so many times that it’s actually distracting? Are you wondering if they are thinking of you? How can you be so absolutely drawn to another human being? Is it the sex, the connection or the love? Is it worse for women or men? Is it the intertwining of souls that sticks to you? Are you drawn to one another without any help? Intimacy is not all about sex. Is this person your soul companion? Do you only get one soul companion? Can their be many? Let’s talk…

We all have a love language. The problem is, so many people are involved with others that do not know what it is. Furthermore, sometimes you don’t even know what yours is. Discovering how you love and how you need to be loved can take you down a path full of questions.

  • What is my love language?
  • Can I teach him or her?
  • Is this person my soulmate?
  • How important is intimacy?
  • Are we meant to be together?
  • Am I already happy?
  • Am I relying on him/her to make me happy?

Can you look past intimacy in a relationship because of years in the relationship or love? Do you believe that love and intimacy are the same?

In my opinion: Soul mates, intimacy, love, sex, faithful, friendships… Powerful words with vastly different meanings. A soul mate is a person with feelings of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality. This type of person is your connection when you are not even speaking. They know what you need and how to love you, even if they are not the person that you are in-love with or involved with. You fall into a soul companion arena once you find that the person is deep in your soul, be mindful, you may not be married to or even dating this person.

With all this being said, sometimes you are meant to watch the person fall in love with other people and stand by and watch. Your position in their life may be to provide an unconditional love and remain consistent, but never their mate. You can be honest though. Your role may be the fixer or just the friend. If you have never crossed the sexually intimate line, this may not be too difficult, but it will suck! If you have crossed the sexually intimate line, this is a different story. Let’s just say that the sex was good, not bad, not out of this world to where your thoughts are skewed. Good, but the connection is great or at least you thought so. The connection feels electric, making you feel amorous intoxication (next blog post). Is it now a little better because of the previous bond between you? Now you have new feelings, but they aren’t new, just intensified. You must decide what to do with this emotional overload and do your best to get a grip.

It may be quite overwhelming at first, but you will recover and either go back to being the unconditional lover friend or move forward into a relationship. Still, you should be grateful to have one another, some people go a lifetime without this relationship. It is likely that you will just return to who you previously were. Simply because… All soul companions aren’t meant to be together.


The Great Pretender…

I’m sure you’ve discovered that you have been this person at some or several points in your life.


Well look at you! Always on point and unbothered. The epitome of a well balanced person. Lie!! Hello Pretender.

There may be a point where you’ve become another person, but you’re unsure when it happened. So many things have brought you to this place. You’ve watched others become this person and you offered love and support to get them back on track. Now it’s your turn to take a spin on the downward spiral. This spiral has you completely out of character, overly emotional, questionable thoughts and constant confusion. All while pretending that it’s normal.


Now here comes the interesting part… So although you feel this way, you smile and make others comfortable and even happy. Heck, you even laugh and smile because you’ve somehow convinced yourself that you’re ok. Besides, that’s the way your people prefer you to be… Strong, together and unmoved. That makes them comfortable. Low and behold, the tears capture you because guess what? You’re not ok!

  • Why is it that people feel the need to hide what they are actually going through, in order to make others feel better. Including their significant others.
  • Why is it that people are so narcissistic that they have this idea that your only problems involve them?
  • Why do people feel ashamed to be sad, depressed,  stressed or just funky?

It’s ok. Really. It’s ok to not feel like yourself or to be any or all of the above ⬆️ emotions. Just find an outlet. Stop pretending because eventually it will catch up with you and it will be difficult to control.

So many of us are walking around just pretending and have no idea.

My advice… Take some time and try to find your way back to “YOU”!
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