Tag Archives: adults

Attraction…

I read a few articles and different postings about attraction and how we can get it wrong in our relationships. So across the board it discusses being attracted to the persons natural scent. Pheromones. That if anything about their particular scent is off putting to you, they are not the person you’re suppose to be paired with. Do you love the smell of your lover straight out of the shower without perfume lotions or soaps? Do you wake up in the morning and kiss the person without brushing your teeth? Can you?

Furthermore do you like their smell after they come home from a long day of work? Would you make love to them without a shower if they hadn’t been sweating all day?

People believe in soul mates but do those same people believe in compatibility based on natural smell attraction?

I’m curious, have you ever broken off a relationship based on a persons’ natural smell? Have you ever found yourself insanely attracted to a persons’ natural smell but couldn’t understand why?

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Love takes time…

Sometimes we fall in love when life is happening. We fall in love before we are ready. Before our minds are mature enough for the intensity of the love. Our bodies too busy to slow down enough to feel love’s power. It’s hold. But our hearts know better than we do.

Real love. The true stuff. It never leaves, but sits back in the shadows waiting for its turn. Quiet, intense but patient. Love had time, but do we?

Some relationships that we label as love, are actually comfort, security, attachment, and fear, but not love. Love is not shut off. Love chooses, not the other way around. The terrified ones try their best to ignore it. Shove it in the back of their closets. They’ve never experienced being loved nor giving love. The perpetuated cycle. Out of sight, out of mind. How do you love someone today but not tomorrow?

Does that work or does it hinder the ability to understand love and understand yourself?

Does that shortchange you or the person? Both?

What if you never find that type of love again?

What if you never feel that raw, deep, passionate connection full of chemistry, sexiness, vulnerability, laughter, consideration, reciprocity, truth, appreciation, tenderness, depth, soul, and excitement again? Are you willing to lose them forever?

Are those things necessary?

Do they exist in one person? Have you found one another?

That person that crossed your mind just now. The one who’s lips you felt graze yours as you briefly closed your eyes. Who’s body you feel pressed against you. Who’s name lies on the tip of your tongue each night but your ego stops you from contacting…

Pay attention, cherish and let go! Just exhale and breathe in those feelings that resonate with you. So many take those feelings for granted. Stop half-assing love ❤️


Good morning….


Men and the emotional weight…

From children, some men were raised to be tough, strong, fearless, avoidant of crying or closeness, and under no means was vulnerability a trait that manhood requires.

These young boys were taught not cry when experiencing real physical or emotional pain. That their feelings and emotions don’t matter because only “girls display that type of stuff”! As they grow older their first love hurts them and they are told “toughen up, and find several more! Sadness isn’t normal! Love is for babies and little girls! Get them before they get you. Never tell them how you feel because they will use it against you. No one will ever love you anyway. Or lastly, mom is the only woman that truly loves me”. These young men have been exposed to and/or experienced physical, sexual and mental abuse that they’ve been too ashamed to speak on.

How can he learn true resolve if the human need to expel emotion is revoked?

This breeds men that are disconnected emotionally and mentally, are always “ok”, strong to a fault, emotionally and mentally exhausted, have a fear of intimacy and vulnerability, emotionally and mentally co-dependent on mom, incapable of committing, unknowingly depressed and breaking down from the inside out. This burden is a trend in their world.

The world hasn’t really been that considerate of the feelings of men, especially the feelings of Black men. In a country they fight for that also fears their very existence, they must humble themselves to avoid being any type of threat. They are prejudged and ridiculed solely based on appearance. We say we want men to lead and to command respect while placing the world on their shoulders and expecting them to have no feelings about the effects of such a burden.

It is time to allow men to not only express but for them to truly acknowledge and feel. How can he be at fault for understanding sex but not intimacy under these terms? If we as a society, continue to think it’s ok to call a man that speaks his truth “weak”, then we are also saying that it is ok for him to walk through life and damage as many people that are in his path. That my dear, includes his children as well. That cycle will continue to damage throughout the generations of young men and women until someone decides that it is time for change.

A man whom is healed, is a man who possesses unmatched strength!


Sexless Love…

Sex is only 50% of the relationship when its bad or barely existent.
Why are people having unsatisfied sex? Why are they silent about that fact? Why do some women not know what great, wall climbing, back scratching sex is?                                                                Why is it a chore and not a pleasure?

This is geared towards the people in relationships and marriages, not so much as the single people. Single people still have the capability to have a different partner and resume new lust and fresh passion. You know who you are, even if you’re in denial. Men, I know you have heard the saying that a woman’s sex drive is tied to her emotions. Understand that for many, they are, doesn’t mean you will never get some. Just keep in mind that your sex lives in previous relationships are completely and utterly IRRELEVANT. Men and women have heard the saying that men are physical and don’t necessarily combined sex with emotion. It’s physical. However, when you’re in a relationship for many years, you can’t just hop on her and expect her to be ready. Some women need the car warmed up. But ladies, you don’t always have a headache (sex can help that though) and every time won’t be romantic. That doesn’t mean it can’t be great. No one should roll their eyes during sex because they are bored.
First things first: know your mate!!!!!!!

1. Talk to your partner. If the sex isn’t good it is the fault of both individuals. Communication is just as important in the bedroom as it is outside of the bedroom. Don’t be afraid to share who you are sexually with your partner. Closed mouths to get fed. And be open to change.

2. Explore. How is your man suppose to now know how to please you, if you don’t. Case closed. Men how is she suppose to know if your not telling her, she’s not the ex or the ones before her.

3. Be confident in your abilities whether you are a man or woman. Never be to cocky in a relationship because what worked on or with someone else may not work with this partner.

4. I have said this a thousand times. Take a trip to a toy store with your mate. If you’re married and want to be for the next 40-50 years, you should both be satisfied.

5. The two of you should decide what “normal” is. Never let anyone else determine the rules of your relationship. Create your own norms that satisfy you both!

All in all it’s a partnership. Don’t say anything that you wouldn’t want said to you. It can be a delicate discussion. My motto is that you should have a rewarding sex life, not a chore list. A sex bucket list is sexy though!

It’s alright if you require sex therapy but always, always try to work within your reach a push a bit past it. The two of you know each other best. Pay attention to when your mate is sexually frustrated. Everything that seems as if it is about sex, may actually be an underlying issue. Hence….communication is key!

Have fun and try something exciting tonight! Until next time lovers!! 🙂

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Love or friendship?

I was watching divorce court one day and each person was saying “I still love him/her, but I want out”! So my question is, what makes the marriage last? In my opinion, it is the friendship. No matter how much you love your mate, you must be their friend first. A marriage can not blissfully succeed without it. My reason is simple…. Your friends are easily forgiven. They may lie to you or even talk behind your back, but somehow you say it’s ok and are friends once again. If at some point your spouse disagrees with you or tells you a white lie, oh it’s over!!! Call the lawyers and divide this stuff up!
So often do people say, Why can he/she not talk to me, the way they are so open with their friends. Well, why not open the door. First, leave the judgement, criticism, and snarky comments at the door. Your spouse wants a friend, not a tyrant, judge or jury. It’s never to late unless the proceedings have begun, but even then you never know. Marriages and relationships are on a rapid decline, when the vows were said, they were said with forever on mind. Now if it is most definitely a done deal , so be it! Just consider how you would want to be forgiven or how you interact with your friends.


Opposites- Setisoppo: Do they attract??

Do opposites really attract??
I often hear people say opposites attract, but I wonder for how long. In the beginning people love what seems opposite to them, but after a couple of years things may greatly fizzle.

Example 1: you love how calm she is and the fact that she stays home to wait for you. On the other hand, you’re a social butterfly and the honeymoon phase is over. You want to do something, anything except stay home!! Now you’re second guessing if this is the right one for you because you compromised your wants. You understand compromise, but when does that become complete sacrifice.
Example 2: He is a ton of fun, but a little sarcastic. Not dumb, but could use a peep at current events. You’re the intellectual type, but he keeps you smiling. That was fun at first, but now you want to have stimulating conversation and that is a no go because of his lack there of.

Just an observation but do people become bored with what is consider the opposite?


Striptease….Freaky Friday!

Had to do some research for you 🙂

Ever try to do a strip tease or really wanted to, but didn’t want to be embarrassed? Well first thing first, men just enjoy the thought of knowing that you won’t be wearing clothes long 🙂 Just a few tips on some spicy techniques to add to your routine. Set the video camera up first!!!!

1. Make sure he is seated in the middle of the room.

2. Try a business suit. No shirt underneth, just a bra, no panties. Make sure the breast are sitting up nicely and button the jacket. (There is something enticing about a woman in a business suit).

3. Very high heels. (Heels accentuate the legs and buttocks).

4. Sexy music. (choose music that your man enjoys, he will love it). Something you can groove to!

5. Make sure you smell tasty.

6. Go slow and start from across the room. Keep heels on at all times. Bottoms (hopefully a skirt, not pants) will come off first.

7. Stand in front of his chair and use any leg to place your foot in his chair. Bend over towards him, kiss him. Tease each lip with soft kisses and gently suck. Step back down, turn around, give him a little lap dance. Pop back up really slow and sexy, with your butt near his face and pull the skirt down slowly, tease a little. All that’s left are the jacket, heels, and panties. What happens next is up to you!! Enjoy!!


Fantasy…

It’s Freaky Friday, so why not!!!

Ah yes… yours is so sexy, you feel it every time you climb into bed, daydream at your desk, stand in the shower, or have mundane conversations with people. That fantasy crosses your mind every silent moment you have. You know the one….

You close your eyes and it begins…. you’re suddenly in a room. A beautifully decorated room. The person comes over to greet you. Sweet kisses, hand holding, pressed against the door because the passion doesn’t allow you to move much further. That kiss is delicious, intoxicating. You wore a dress because… that’s sexy for this fantasy. Hands gently rub your thighs up your dress to remove your panties. You’re carried to the nearest wall mirror and passionately kissed on your lips, cheeks, and neck. He stands you up on the floor and turns you toward the wall length mirror. He pulls your dress up and over. Kisses the length of your spine, shoulders, neck. Your eyes are open as you watch him in the mirror. His hands explore every inch as he gently bends you over. You brace on the mirror as passionate love making ensues. Before your knees get weaker, he pulls out and carries you to the bed to lay you down. He kisses you down your body. Neck, collarbone, chest, breasts, stomach, hips, a sweet kiss on the yoni, thighs, toes. Back up the legs, thighs, as he gently parts your legs, he wraps his arms around your thighs and pulls your yogi closer to his lips. As he kisses, licks, kisses, licks…. your back arches, you bite your lip, reaching down to caress his head as you moan his name and tell him how you feel. He’s like an artist painting a picture with his tongue. Soft, slow, precise. He kisses your hips and thighs as he enters you deeply. You gasp! The thrusts are long, deep and it’s soaking wet…… Good morning dolls! Happy Friday!

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Imagination…

Let’s exploit your senses! Clear your mind. Now think back to your most passionate encounter. Was it recent? Close your eyes and just think about it……………….

Did you lick or bite your lip from the thought? Did you rub your legs together? Did your breathing become faster, heavier?  Did you find yourself practicing kegels at just the thought of that encounter? Did you manhood come to attention to join the party?

There is something so electrifying about a great kisser. Especially when they smell amazing. Can you smell them right now? Did you feel the kiss on your lips, either pair? Yes, that. The softness of his lips. Her gentle kisses on your neck. The gentle caress of his hands as he takes control of your body. The teasing way she rubs your inner thigh. He pays close attention to where his lips travel. She slowly slides down as you discover her warm oasis. He knows what you need before you do. He moves slowly, deliberately, seductively. She  slowly but deeply winds. He brings out the best and the nastiest in you, Hell, he’s even a mind reader because you were hoping he would lick and suck right there. His lips and your yoni are made for one another and he knows. You didn’t expect her to lick you there, damn blindfold. What is that vibration, then wetness…Ah yes, that’s it.

This encounter, where does it take place? Is it typical, like the bedroom or naughty like the park in the evening? Does he slip his finger up your skirt in the elevator or love you down in the back seat of the car? Are there toys involved? Blindfolds, fruits, feathers, roses, oil, chocolates, handcuffs? Were you senses driven wild?

Let’s just sit that right there and rest in your encounter.

Have a sexy day!

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