Yes, I’m talking about biting your lip at the sheer thought of your lover. Tracing their face with your finger tip, tightening your legs from the shiver and exhaling because you realized you weren’t breathing! Whew! Closing your eyes and feeling them in their absence…
Open your eyes when kissing and watch how much passion takes over your body. It’s intoxicating! So much passion and intimacy lies within the touch. Touch one another. Play with one another. Laugh and talk with one another. Plan a surprise hotel stay and make love all night! Have a parking lot make out session! Throw caution to the wind but don’t get locked up! Please! Go on a date with crotchless panties! Get handsy! Play in the car, but don’t end in sex, leave with a little anticipation, a little yearning but not too long! Life is about fun as well. Loosen up!
Be with someone who makes it overtly clear that they want you! If you have beautiful, easy and solid chemistry, don’t take it granted, everyone doesn’t have it. It doesn’t mean they can’t have a beautiful relationship though. True intimacy takes effort. Consider your lover. Men typically want to be wanted, women want to be desired. Women love to be considered. Simple as that. The power of passion lies in intimacy. The power of intimacy lies in communication. The power of communication lies in vulnerability.
I’m in a unique space, where my energy only allows freedom, autonomy and love at this point. For a long time I felt trapped in a space of confusion that made me feel uncertain, as if I couldn’t breathe and made me cling irrationally. That came from hurt, fear, pain…trauma.
Sometimes our lives are full of expectations and other peoples needs that you fulfill. In those times people simply want to feel appreciated. They don’t want to beg others to spend time with them, hope they are thought of during the day or week only to not know or be last minute thoughts. They simply desire for someone to be nice to them with no pretense or expectations.
• Appreciate those who surround you.
• Be kind because it’s free.
•Kindness is so simplistically beautiful that it will change your life right before your eyes
•Stop acting as if you’re too busy for the people care about you. Even the busiest men and women make time.
Life is as simple and as beautiful as we allow ourselves to make it. Even people who have suffered the greatest heartbreaks and reside in extreme poverty still find reasons to smile. Send a smile a strangers way and be genuine.
Sometimes we spend so much time making others happy that we miss ourselves. Don’t miss yourself!
The Nocturnal Philosopher
I read a few articles and different postings about attraction and how we can get it wrong in our relationships. So across the board it discusses being attracted to the persons natural scent. Pheromones. That if anything about their particular scent is off putting to you, they are not the person you’re suppose to be paired with. Do you love the smell of your lover straight out of the shower without perfume lotions or soaps? Do you wake up in the morning and kiss the person without brushing your teeth? Can you?
Furthermore do you like their smell after they come home from a long day of work? Would you make love to them without a shower if they hadn’t been sweating all day?
People believe in soul mates but do those same people believe in compatibility based on natural smell attraction?
I’m curious, have you ever broken off a relationship based on a persons’ natural smell? Have you ever found yourself insanely attracted to a persons’ natural smell but couldn’t understand why?
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Every single day that you wake up and you’re in love is beautiful. It’s also another day in the minefield of things that could explode. Often times we only consider the happiness and joy of love. We fail one another when we don’t consider how impossible it is to not let another person down. To not be terrified of being hurt. To not process our emotions, speak our deep hurts and heal our traumas. We fail one another by thinking that we are best suited to walk this journey alone and if someone wants to walk it with us they must get behind us because beside us isn’t available due to Damage being our right hand. That comfort zone that we all run to when things don’t go our way, get complicated or are more than expected.
Just because we dropped the ball doesn’t mean we can’t pick it back up.
Humans are flawed. Love is intricate. Love is also easy when people are willing to do the work. I sit in my new belief and firmly attest to it. People may love differently but all of us are capable of altering that way if we truly love another by opening our hearts and choosing to do so. We chose how successful we become by doing the work and making sacrifices, love works the same way. Life is about growing, making mistakes and learning from them.
Be open to learning new ways of love. There’s never just one way of doing things. We not only need other people but we need real, solid and true connections.
Day by day, each and every one of us has a struggle. There are no small struggles. It is not selfish to want to make yourself a priority, it is necessary. Self-care is key and understanding what you want can be just as important as what you need. We go through so many things we never share with another soul, that could cause us to suffer in silence and be alone in the midst of darkness that most wish to never encounter. All those thoughts, fears, pains, feelings… just let them pour onto the paper. I’ve included what I call, “Tarah-isms: Food for Thought” to hopefully provide some motivation, comfort, support, insight and solace…..
How to get the want
Each day is another chance to make a mistake, break a heart, start a fight, be rude, mean or disrespectful, but each day is also a chance to fix all of the above. Do people choose to not fix it because of pride, hurt or exhaustion? In a perfect world none of these things would even occur, but our world is real. We hurt the people we love, we get tired of being hurt, we say things with the intent to be dismissive, we fail to see the damage that we cause. Sometimes the fear of loving a person causes us to lash out and push them away in a heinous way. In efforts to heal ourselves, we break others or break the bond that may have been built on the internal brokenness of one or both parties. In order to heal, they must release, review and heal together. Or do they? Were they better before one another or after? There is no perfect love. Love is both beautiful and complicated because we are human. Is there an internal emptiness that resides where that person use to. Is their absence deeper than physical draw? Are they replaceable or did they create a world completely owned by the two of you. A dream.
“What happens to a dream deferred, does it dry up like a raisin in the sun”.
From the moment our feet hit the floor in the morning, people have ideas about what we should be doing with our life. Everything from what we should wear to who we should date/marry. How we should feel, grow and adapt to maltreatment and be grateful for it or ignore it until it happens again. There are rules for women that are set by other women, men, society as a whole. Our clothes dictate whether we should be taken seriously. Who we decide to date can create negative or positive views towards us, but not the men. We have to be a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. Be pure in virtue but have experience to please a man. Be ambitious but not aggressive or manly. Be smart but do not over shadow the man in the room. We are so use to others tearing us down that we tear one another down for the most irrelevant and unnecessary reasons. Being a woman comes with incredible hardships. Many of us are emotional creature and that is not easily understood by men. The fact is that women are created to love in a certain way. If that love is shunned, it changes her little by little. We are expected to take things with stride because we are told or expected to do so. Understand that I believe that healthy competition in the work place/ board room is necessary for the sake of business but constant criticism isn’t necessary.
The facts are simple, we women often bounce back from many situations. Why… because we are rock stars! We are nurturers, child bearers, wives, teachers, business women, CEO’s, authors, writers, publishers, artists, producers, musicians, actresses, directors, trainers, doctors, lawyers, psychologists… and we run the world! We do so much that it is time that we just recognize one another. Take the time out of your day to show appreciation to another woman. It is hard enough to live up to society’s unrealistic views, let’s just enjoy being women for the time being.
Do opposites really attract??
I often hear people say opposites attract, but I wonder for how long. In the beginning people love what seems opposite to them, but after a couple of years things may greatly fizzle.
Example 1: you love how calm she is and the fact that she stays home to wait for you. On the other hand, you’re a social butterfly and the honeymoon phase is over. You want to do something, anything except stay home!! Now you’re second guessing if this is the right one for you because you compromised your wants. You understand compromise, but when does that become complete sacrifice.
Example 2: He is a ton of fun, but a little sarcastic. Not dumb, but could use a peep at current events. You’re the intellectual type, but he keeps you smiling. That was fun at first, but now you want to have stimulating conversation and that is a no go because of his lack there of.
Just an observation but do people become bored with what is consider the opposite?