Every single day that you wake up and you’re in love is beautiful. It’s also another day in the minefield of things that could explode. Often times we only consider the happiness and joy of love. We fail one another when we don’t consider how impossible it is to not let another person down. To not be terrified of being hurt. To not process our emotions, speak our deep hurts and heal our traumas. We fail one another by thinking that we are best suited to walk this journey alone and if someone wants to walk it with us they must get behind us because beside us isn’t available due to Damage being our right hand. That comfort zone that we all run to when things don’t go our way, get complicated or are more than expected.
Just because we dropped the ball doesn’t mean we can’t pick it back up.
Humans are flawed. Love is intricate. Love is also easy when people are willing to do the work. I sit in my new belief and firmly attest to it. People may love differently but all of us are capable of altering that way if we truly love another by opening our hearts and choosing to do so. We chose how successful we become by doing the work and making sacrifices, love works the same way. Life is about growing, making mistakes and learning from them.
Be open to learning new ways of love. There’s never just one way of doing things. We not only need other people but we need real, solid and true connections.
Day by day, each and every one of us has a struggle. There are no small struggles. It is not selfish to want to make yourself a priority, it is necessary. Self-care is key and understanding what you want can be just as important as what you need. We go through so many things we never share with another soul, that could cause us to suffer in silence and be alone in the midst of darkness that most wish to never encounter. All those thoughts, fears, pains, feelings… just let them pour onto the paper. I’ve included what I call, “Tarah-isms: Food for Thought” to hopefully provide some motivation, comfort, support, insight and solace…..
How to get the want
Each day is another chance to make a mistake, break a heart, start a fight, be rude, mean or disrespectful, but each day is also a chance to fix all of the above. Do people choose to not fix it because of pride, hurt or exhaustion? In a perfect world none of these things would even occur, but our world is real. We hurt the people we love, we get tired of being hurt, we say things with the intent to be dismissive, we fail to see the damage that we cause. Sometimes the fear of loving a person causes us to lash out and push them away in a heinous way. In efforts to heal ourselves, we break others or break the bond that may have been built on the internal brokenness of one or both parties. In order to heal, they must release, review and heal together. Or do they? Were they better before one another or after? There is no perfect love. Love is both beautiful and complicated because we are human. Is there an internal emptiness that resides where that person use to. Is their absence deeper than physical draw? Are they replaceable or did they create a world completely owned by the two of you. A dream.
“What happens to a dream deferred, does it dry up like a raisin in the sun”.
From the moment our feet hit the floor in the morning, people have ideas about what we should be doing with our life. Everything from what we should wear to who we should date/marry. How we should feel, grow and adapt to maltreatment and be grateful for it or ignore it until it happens again. There are rules for women that are set by other women, men, society as a whole. Our clothes dictate whether we should be taken seriously. Who we decide to date can create negative or positive views towards us, but not the men. We have to be a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. Be pure in virtue but have experience to please a man. Be ambitious but not aggressive or manly. Be smart but do not over shadow the man in the room. We are so use to others tearing us down that we tear one another down for the most irrelevant and unnecessary reasons. Being a woman comes with incredible hardships. Many of us are emotional creature and that is not easily understood by men. The fact is that women are created to love in a certain way. If that love is shunned, it changes her little by little. We are expected to take things with stride because we are told or expected to do so. Understand that I believe that healthy competition in the work place/ board room is necessary for the sake of business but constant criticism isn’t necessary.
The facts are simple, we women often bounce back from many situations. Why… because we are rock stars! We are nurturers, child bearers, wives, teachers, business women, CEO’s, authors, writers, publishers, artists, producers, musicians, actresses, directors, trainers, doctors, lawyers, psychologists… and we run the world! We do so much that it is time that we just recognize one another. Take the time out of your day to show appreciation to another woman. It is hard enough to live up to society’s unrealistic views, let’s just enjoy being women for the time being.
Do opposites really attract??
I often hear people say opposites attract, but I wonder for how long. In the beginning people love what seems opposite to them, but after a couple of years things may greatly fizzle.
Example 1: you love how calm she is and the fact that she stays home to wait for you. On the other hand, you’re a social butterfly and the honeymoon phase is over. You want to do something, anything except stay home!! Now you’re second guessing if this is the right one for you because you compromised your wants. You understand compromise, but when does that become complete sacrifice.
Example 2: He is a ton of fun, but a little sarcastic. Not dumb, but could use a peep at current events. You’re the intellectual type, but he keeps you smiling. That was fun at first, but now you want to have stimulating conversation and that is a no go because of his lack there of.
Just an observation but do people become bored with what is consider the opposite?
Disclaimer: Grown Folks Only
Amorous: am·o·rous – adjective
showing, feeling, or relating to sexual desire.
Lips licked…. The power of interpretation.
Let me introduce you to the “Experience”.
Are you loved, pleased and satisfied sexually? If you were a teacher, how would you teach this lesson? To provide a fully enjoyable Experience, one must be in tune with the body. It should be a full on Experience. Now understand, this type of Experience is not for everyone and not for every time. I am describing this as the teacher, professor if you will. There is so much that I would love to add to this blog, but I will keep it brief and save it for another blog. Shake off the conventional methods. Grab your student and lets begin.
Atmosphere and activity – Seduction starts before the kiss…
*Music should be perfect, slow but beautiful. Pay attention to the words of the songs you choose, it is important. Music is key because your body will begin to respond to the sound waves. Go turn on some music, I love Alina Baraz-Can I, Rick Braun/ Love Take Me, Somi- Ginger Me Slowly…The important part about this is to fully understand your own body first. This understanding will make you a better lover. During your dance, touch yourself and get completely comfortable doing so. This will require being naked and you may enjoy closing your eyes.
*Environment needs be dimly lit if possible. You want to be able to see what is about to take place. I adore setting the scene in a hotel room because it gives you the freedom to get creative and role play. If you ever have the opportunity to possess 24 full hours of their time, you could do some amazing things.
*Choose smells that are lightly scented with Patchouli, Jasmine, Rose or Ylang-ylang. These scents will stimulate the nervous system, attract sexual love and make you feel good.
*Fruit is always a great thing to have near the possible locations. This will keep energy up and reduce dry mouth from the kissing sessions. Water and coconut water is also helpful. Bedroom, hotel room, living room (always a great choice) and anywhere else that you can think of. If it is a hotel, choose the bed last, let’s not be boring!
So let’s get to the amorous intoxication… If you are intimate with a kisser, tease the lips a little. (That’s open to interpretation too)! Soft kisses with a gentle suck of the lip. Now use this time wisely, you’re making love not racing. During this time you should recognize your partners motion so be prepared to use it. My advice, slower is always better. It’s much more intense. Erotic. You feel every, single inch and drip of this session. The bodily responses should be warm, wet and hard. The better you work, the wetter the playground. Take your time. Intertwine those fingers and kiss often. During your breaks, touch, fondle and learn more about your bodies. Feed one another the fruit and lick the finger tips. Don’t be afraid to tell the person… “Teach me how to love you. Show me what you need”. This Experience is about a complete connection. When it is time for round 2, introduce something new. Feathers, blindfolds, toys, new positions )a lick, suck and ride all at once if you’re feeling frisky), absolutely no repeats… unless they beg for it. Again, take your time. Touch it, taste it, tease it. After round 3, it’s shower time. This shower should be delicious. Wash him, wash her, move the water from your faces but allow the room to steam. This is the opportunity to explore even further. Place her leg on the side of the tub or railing (anything stable), explore using your fingers or tongue (your choice). Don’t be selfish ladies, you’ll be exploring too. Work every inch of the shower and the body! The feeling is so amazing that you feel… intoxicated. When the shower is over, dry each other off. Go lay down together, what happens next is up to you. You may want to eat some real food though! (I see you biting your lip 😏)!
Be a partner and have a partner that is absolutely concerned with your pleasure. Can you taste it, can you smell them, can you feel them… Flashbacks will occur. Ok, go plan your sexscapade. Don’t wait, great sex awaits you…
If we were chosen for relationships based on our experience and qualifications, would you hire yourself? Do you believe that the things that you require in a relationship go both ways? Many times people have expectations for others, but they do not meet the standards they themselves are looking for. Is it fair to be so particular if you do not bring the same things to the table? Thoughts?
Sometimes we travel this life in search of something. You may never truly know what it is until you stumble across it. The thought of it makes you smile. You close your eyes and there it is right before you. Happiness.
It comes in many forms. So often we voluntarily sacrifice ourselves for the happiness of others. Or we accept the ill conduct of others that we are scared to lose. Know that it is absolutely ok to have expectations of others. You can expect that they treat you with love, respect and concern for your well being if they are in your life as friends or lovers. That expectations means that you show ppl how to treat you. Be the type of person you want others to be to you. They may not, but you can certainly expect that ppl treat you a certain way or be willing to walk away. If it is not in accordance with what you desire to be Happy in this life, you can absolutely walk away. We must stop doing what others deem the “right” thing when it comes to our lives. Consider what makes you happy. There are no guarantees in this life and for all we know, there’s only one shot at it!
So I’ve decided to do a series of “clarity” moments each day this month.
I’ve realized that I am a sweet, stern, loving, controlling, passionate, strong, caring, dominant, endearing and loyal person. Yes, all of that mess. This also means that I am quite aware of all of my flaws which makes it easier to feel human.
You see, people have so many unrealistic expectations for others, but none of themselves. We have to learn that people will make mistakes and it’s up to us to forgive them. Don’t be so short sided that you can’t forgive a person. Life’s so short and precious we only have one choice…
- Love hard
- Kiss passionately
- Accept differences
- Appreciate differences
- Laugh and smile as much as you can
- Try something spontaneous
- Live like you love life
- Take the chances while you have them
Have a beautiful day and thank you, thank you, thank you for reading my thoughts!
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