Tag Archives: dating

Passion…

Yes, I’m talking about biting your lip at the sheer thought of your lover. Tracing their face with your finger tip, tightening your legs from the shiver and exhaling because you realized you weren’t breathing! Whew! Closing your eyes and feeling them in their absence…

Open your eyes when kissing and watch how much passion takes over your body. It’s intoxicating! So much passion and intimacy lies within the touch. Touch one another. Play with one another. Laugh and talk with one another. Plan a surprise hotel stay and make love all night! Have a parking lot make out session! Throw caution to the wind but don’t get locked up! Please! Go on a date with crotchless panties! Get handsy! Play in the car, but don’t end in sex, leave with a little anticipation, a little yearning but not too long! Life is about fun as well. Loosen up!

Be with someone who makes it overtly clear that they want you! If you have beautiful, easy and solid chemistry, don’t take it granted, everyone doesn’t have it. It doesn’t mean they can’t have a beautiful relationship though. True intimacy takes effort. Consider your lover. Men typically want to be wanted, women want to be desired. Women love to be considered. Simple as that. The power of passion lies in intimacy. The power of intimacy lies in communication. The power of communication lies in vulnerability.

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How To Get The Want….

Day by day, each and every one of us has a struggle. There are no small struggles. It is not selfish to want to make yourself a priority, it is necessary. Self-care is key and understanding what you want can be just as important as what you need. We go through so many things we never share with another soul, that could cause us to suffer in silence and be alone in the midst of darkness that most wish to never encounter. All those thoughts, fears, pains, feelings… just let them pour onto the paper. I’ve included what I call, “Tarah-isms: Food for Thought” to hopefully provide some motivation, comfort, support, insight and solace…..

How to get the want


Love takes time…

Sometimes we fall in love when life is happening. We fall in love before we are ready. Before our minds are mature enough for the intensity of the love. Our bodies too busy to slow down enough to feel love’s power. It’s hold. But our hearts know better than we do.

Real love. The true stuff. It never leaves, but sits back in the shadows waiting for its turn. Quiet, intense but patient. Love had time, but do we?

Some relationships that we label as love, are actually comfort, security, attachment, and fear, but not love. Love is not shut off. Love chooses, not the other way around. The terrified ones try their best to ignore it. Shove it in the back of their closets. They’ve never experienced being loved nor giving love. The perpetuated cycle. Out of sight, out of mind. How do you love someone today but not tomorrow?

Does that work or does it hinder the ability to understand love and understand yourself?

Does that shortchange you or the person? Both?

What if you never find that type of love again?

What if you never feel that raw, deep, passionate connection full of chemistry, sexiness, vulnerability, laughter, consideration, reciprocity, truth, appreciation, tenderness, depth, soul, and excitement again? Are you willing to lose them forever?

Are those things necessary?

Do they exist in one person? Have you found one another?

That person that crossed your mind just now. The one who’s lips you felt graze yours as you briefly closed your eyes. Who’s body you feel pressed against you. Who’s name lies on the tip of your tongue each night but your ego stops you from contacting…

Pay attention, cherish and let go! Just exhale and breathe in those feelings that resonate with you. So many take those feelings for granted. Stop half-assing love ❤️


Sex and Love…

Life is funny. Love is powerful. Sex is the intertwining of souls.  Intoxication. Consumption. Energy. Overwhelming. The staircase to all things love, passion, soul joining….

Is it possible to control who you love and how you love them? Does sex complicate that?

I have this idea that when you have sex with a person, your souls are joining. No matter how brief, that person is apart of you forever. I didn’t respect or even consider this portion of the equation when I was in my 20’s. I heard it before, but wasn’t sure what was meant by it.

I can say this, when you have sex with a person that you are both in love with and/or love beforehand, it is a completely different type of energy. One could say it’s electrifying. Have you felt before?

The act of sex is by far one of the most personal, intimate and enlightening engagements you will participate in. I implore you to be cautious who you share that part of yourself with. If you are in fact deeply in love with or love the person, you’ve now forever changed the dynamics of your love. You may feel possessive, attached and much more involved. Why is that?

Seems normal once you’ve shared yourself with a person. Do you punish yourself for doing it if the other person doesn’t feel the same way or when you don’t know what they feel?  Do you even know what you’re feeling? Expectations… Are those feelings overwhelming? Are those feelings fair and warranted? Now what….


The Great Pretender…

I’m sure you’ve discovered that you have been this person at some or several points in your life.


Well look at you! Always on point and unbothered. The epitome of a well balanced person. Lie!! Hello Pretender.

There may be a point where you’ve become another person, but you’re unsure when it happened. So many things have brought you to this place. You’ve watched others become this person and you offered love and support to get them back on track. Now it’s your turn to take a spin on the downward spiral. This spiral has you completely out of character, overly emotional, questionable thoughts and constant confusion. All while pretending that it’s normal.


Now here comes the interesting part… So although you feel this way, you smile and make others comfortable and even happy. Heck, you even laugh and smile because you’ve somehow convinced yourself that you’re ok. Besides, that’s the way your people prefer you to be… Strong, together and unmoved. That makes them comfortable. Low and behold, the tears capture you because guess what? You’re not ok!

  • Why is it that people feel the need to hide what they are actually going through, in order to make others feel better. Including their significant others.
  • Why is it that people are so narcissistic that they have this idea that your only problems involve them?
  • Why do people feel ashamed to be sad, depressed,  stressed or just funky?

It’s ok. Really. It’s ok to not feel like yourself or to be any or all of the above ⬆️ emotions. Just find an outlet. Stop pretending because eventually it will catch up with you and it will be difficult to control.

So many of us are walking around just pretending and have no idea.

My advice… Take some time and try to find your way back to “YOU”!
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Am I destined to stay single??

So you’re in a relationship for 6 months ( timeframe may vary) and decide to move in together. However, you still have a wandering eye or lustful thoughts for others. So now you want your space and think it is time to take a break even though you really care deeply for this person. You now start second guessing whether or not you should even be in a relationship. Sound familiar? Well, let me give you my thoughts on the subject….

People that are in successful and happy marriages for 25 years, have found themselves looking at other people (which we discussed in the previous post). Having lustful thoughts can be very bad depending on the actions that follow. I’m a realist so please understand when I say the actions, not the thoughts, are the bigger deal. When you love someone, you have to consider how you would feel if the tables were turned. All these ingredients aren’t a recipe for staying single unless you want it to be. Everything worth having is worth fighting for. It’s not often that you meet a person that loves you completely, not for what you can do for them, but because of who you are. Their complete acceptance of you. We are all flawed with baggage but real love isn’t that common, so if you find it, grab it! If you decide to go along with a break, see how you feel without the person. If you feel empty, then rethink that decision. If you feel free, then you made the right decision.

The best start to a relationship, is a friendship. People are more forgiving of their friends, than their lovers. Friendships make the relationship stronger and places it on a better foundation. Things go wrong in love, but cutting and running because of fear or claustrophobia are not good reasons to lose out on a good thing. No one is perfect and loving is a learning process and relationship are balancing acts. Make it happen!


Fantasy…

It’s Freaky Friday, so why not!!!

Ah yes… yours is so sexy, you feel it every time you climb into bed, daydream at your desk, stand in the shower, or have mundane conversations with people. That fantasy crosses your mind every silent moment you have. You know the one….

You close your eyes and it begins…. you’re suddenly in a room. A beautifully decorated room. The person comes over to greet you. Sweet kisses, hand holding, pressed against the door because the passion doesn’t allow you to move much further. That kiss is delicious, intoxicating. You wore a dress because… that’s sexy for this fantasy. Hands gently rub your thighs up your dress to remove your panties. You’re carried to the nearest wall mirror and passionately kissed on your lips, cheeks, and neck. He stands you up on the floor and turns you toward the wall length mirror. He pulls your dress up and over. Kisses the length of your spine, shoulders, neck. Your eyes are open as you watch him in the mirror. His hands explore every inch as he gently bends you over. You brace on the mirror as passionate love making ensues. Before your knees get weaker, he pulls out and carries you to the bed to lay you down. He kisses you down your body. Neck, collarbone, chest, breasts, stomach, hips, a sweet kiss on the yoni, thighs, toes. Back up the legs, thighs, as he gently parts your legs, he wraps his arms around your thighs and pulls your yogi closer to his lips. As he kisses, licks, kisses, licks…. your back arches, you bite your lip, reaching down to caress his head as you moan his name and tell him how you feel. He’s like an artist painting a picture with his tongue. Soft, slow, precise. He kisses your hips and thighs as he enters you deeply. You gasp! The thrusts are long, deep and it’s soaking wet…… Good morning dolls! Happy Friday!

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