I’m sure you’ve discovered that you have been this person at some or several points in your life.
Well look at you! Always on point and unbothered. The epitome of a well balanced person. Lie!! Hello Pretender.
There may be a point where you’ve become another person, but you’re unsure when it happened. So many things have brought you to this place. You’ve watched others become this person and you offered love and support to get them back on track. Now it’s your turn to take a spin on the downward spiral. This spiral has you completely out of character, overly emotional, questionable thoughts and constant confusion. All while pretending that it’s normal.
Now here comes the interesting part… So although you feel this way, you smile and make others comfortable and even happy. Heck, you even laugh and smile because you’ve somehow convinced yourself that you’re ok. Besides, that’s the way your people prefer you to be… Strong, together and unmoved. That makes them comfortable. Low and behold, the tears capture you because guess what? You’re not ok!
- Why is it that people feel the need to hide what they are actually going through, in order to make others feel better. Including their significant others.
- Why is it that people are so narcissistic that they have this idea that your only problems involve them?
- Why do people feel ashamed to be sad, depressed, stressed or just funky?
It’s ok. Really. It’s ok to not feel like yourself or to be any or all of the above ⬆️ emotions. Just find an outlet. Stop pretending because eventually it will catch up with you and it will be difficult to control.
So many of us are walking around just pretending and have no idea.
My advice… Take some time and try to find your way back to “YOU”!
We often walk dark paths while attempting to deceive others into believing that our path is full of light. Society sheds such a bad light on not feeling like yourself, depression and mental illness of any sort. This is the biggest reason that many suffer in silence. Sometimes we do things, find people and say things that become our drugs and therapy versus getting the necessary help. These new drugs are strong addictions that you find impossible to kick, not because you need it, not because it’s good to you or for you but because you are numb and just want to feel again.
It is impossible to heal if you are only avoiding. Healing is hard. Healing is very hard. It is lonely, dark and cold. Those things or people that are now your drug are like a “vacation” an escape away from your own reality. This means that not only are you not healing, you’ve now created something else to forgive yourself for. You’ve dug a hole that only continues to get deeper and darker. Of course you smile because that’s your role in everyone’s life. Just remember that it’s ok to be in this place. It’s not ok to continuously ignore it.
1. Find a place in your heart and forgive yourself
2. Write your woes on a sheet of paper and burn it
3. Start therapy and/ or medication to get you back on track if deemed necessary by a medical doctor
4. Take some time to yourself
5. The final tip is to love yourself no matter what. This will become difficult. At times you won’t like the person that’s staring back at you in the mirror. You’ve contemplated the worse possible thoughts and you’ve been able to talk yourself out of it. You’re not alone. I know it feels that way because no one really understands. Especially when you’re taking blow after blow while trying not to break every single day. You’re so strong. As you read this you are realizing how much strength you possess.
6. If you start to crack again, start from step 1.
Please ask for help before you give up.
People have expectations for us on a daily basis. Sometimes life moves so quickly that we do not even notice that we’ve adapted to who they want us to be. Along the way we lose ourselves and the intended direction of our journey. We find ourselves helping everyone and quenching their thirst from our own empty glass. A glass goes through a number of changes. Empty. Cracked. Shattered to pieces. Broken. You hear people say this but you’re so strong that it will never be you. The truth is, you saw the signs and watched yourself crumbling but you didn’t get the help you needed.
We are all human. Flawed. Fragile. We all require a certain something that we fail to discuss. Let’s discuss.
Upcoming publication: The Regal Woman