Sometimes, if only for a moment I wish I could be a kid again. Or at the very least, disappear for awhile to some quiet with no worries. As a kid, life was a bit easier, no decisions to make, no tears unless I was really bad or being spoiled, but most importantly my loved ones were near, dear, safe and sound. Well, mostly. I remember the first time my heart felt broken. I was 10 years old. My mom came into my room with a cup of chocolate pudding and sat down next to me. My Uncle had past. At 10, this man was much of my universe. His smile, his happiness, his laughter. Just one of the greatest humans to live. See, my grandfather died a few years prior but I didn’t know him well and hadn’t spent much time with him. I grew up in New Jersey near my uncle (his brother) but my grandfather lived in Baltimore. My uncle became my surrogate grandfather in a way. When he passed, it felt as if a part of me died as well.
Fast forward 25 years, my strongest rock, my grand foundation, and another piece of me is lying in wait of death and my heart is once again in shambles….
Waiting is the worse. Watching is sadness.
So yes, take me to a space of no worries. Even if only for a moment. I usually go silent when I deal with major life events, it’s helpful. I just chose to write this time. Find a way to express yourself and know that it’s ok to be sad at times, but don’t stay in that space too long. Release.
I won’t complain because much has been given in this life. So many blessings, exciting moments and laughter! Take a moment to smile at those thoughts. No one is untouchable, take time to appreciate them while they’re here…
Joy comes in the morning.
The most confusing parts about love, is being in it by yourself and freeing yourself to allow it. That moment when you realize that you’ve fallen in the deep end with no life jacket. How does the other person feel? Do they feel territorial, is it self preservation or love? You have no real idea. You’re a lover by nature, but not easy to trust and give your heart. So when you do, it’s pretty authentic. Your natural empathic abilities lead you to care deeply for many but only truly love a few. You had no plans of falling, but isn’t that how life works? Loving freely can be a catch 22 for those that have control issues. You have this constant urge to take it back but it’s already out there. The ultimate level of vulnerability. It says that not only have you allowed yourself to give of yourself freely, but you’ve given up controlling what life says should be freed. Love.
Why must we complicate it? Either you do or you don’t, right? Ha!! Complication is the human way! How do you even know when someone truly loves you? Does it matter if it’s one-sided? What about love languages? Is it the verbiage of “I love you”? The way they act? Which means more to you? Does not knowing make you feel deflated? Lessen your love? Wish you could rewind and erase it?
I often wonder why so many people are afraid of loving or speaking in love. Is it because of the possibility of being hurt? Unrequited love? Their past lovers? Childhood? Loving too soon? Isn’t that a testament to the other person? I’m a firm believer that you get one chance at this life. Even if reincarnation, recycling of souls or any variation of such actually occurs, you won’t know. Therefore, we get this one shot. Stop being so afraid of loving people. Living is about loving. I know, I know, loving without being loved back sucks ass! Trust me, I know. The heart wants what the heart wants. When it’s not returned, it kind of creates that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach and you just want to run away (see, told you I understand)! That doesn’t mean that closing yourself off is the healthy option. It’s not! That’s their issue to address in life, not yours. Be willing to walk that walk of love with them, but only if you know it’s what they want as well. Never force love. Love is the easy part. If you’re not sure, take a few steps back to reassess. Give your heart a break. Give them the space they made need. Be open and honest with both your words and your actions. Sometimes you must let that person go to remain the loving being that you are. Someone will come along and thrive on that love, but you must be open and willing.
If you’re the person on the opposite end of the lover, consider their feelings and adjust accordingly. Sometimes that involves letting them go because you can’t be what they need. Life’s too short for anything else.
It’s Freaky Friday, so why not!!!
Ah yes… yours is so sexy, you feel it every time you climb into bed, daydream at your desk, stand in the shower, or have mundane conversations with people. That fantasy crosses your mind every silent moment you have. You know the one….
You close your eyes and it begins…. you’re suddenly in a room. A beautifully decorated room. The person comes over to greet you. Sweet kisses, hand holding, pressed against the door because the passion doesn’t allow you to move much further. That kiss is delicious, intoxicating. You wore a dress because… that’s sexy for this fantasy. Hands gently rub your thighs up your dress to remove your panties. You’re carried to the nearest wall mirror and passionately kissed on your lips, cheeks, and neck. He stands you up on the floor and turns you toward the wall length mirror. He pulls your dress up and over. Kisses the length of your spine, shoulders, neck. Your eyes are open as you watch him in the mirror. His hands explore every inch as he gently bends you over. You brace on the mirror as passionate love making ensues. Before your knees get weaker, he pulls out and carries you to the bed to lay you down. He kisses you down your body. Neck, collarbone, chest, breasts, stomach, hips, a sweet kiss on the yoni, thighs, toes. Back up the legs, thighs, as he gently parts your legs, he wraps his arms around your thighs and pulls your yogi closer to his lips. As he kisses, licks, kisses, licks…. your back arches, you bite your lip, reaching down to caress his head as you moan his name and tell him how you feel. He’s like an artist painting a picture with his tongue. Soft, slow, precise. He kisses your hips and thighs as he enters you deeply. You gasp! The thrusts are long, deep and it’s soaking wet…… Good morning dolls! Happy Friday!
Sometimes we travel this life in search of something. You may never truly know what it is until you stumble across it. The thought of it makes you smile. You close your eyes and there it is right before you. Happiness.
It comes in many forms. So often we voluntarily sacrifice ourselves for the happiness of others. Or we accept the ill conduct of others that we are scared to lose. Know that it is absolutely ok to have expectations of others. You can expect that they treat you with love, respect and concern for your well being if they are in your life as friends or lovers. That expectations means that you show ppl how to treat you. Be the type of person you want others to be to you. They may not, but you can certainly expect that ppl treat you a certain way or be willing to walk away. If it is not in accordance with what you desire to be Happy in this life, you can absolutely walk away. We must stop doing what others deem the “right” thing when it comes to our lives. Consider what makes you happy. There are no guarantees in this life and for all we know, there’s only one shot at it!
So I’ve decided to do a series of “clarity” moments each day this month.
I’ve realized that I am a sweet, stern, loving, controlling, passionate, strong, caring, dominant, endearing and loyal person. Yes, all of that mess. This also means that I am quite aware of all of my flaws which makes it easier to feel human.
You see, people have so many unrealistic expectations for others, but none of themselves. We have to learn that people will make mistakes and it’s up to us to forgive them. Don’t be so short sided that you can’t forgive a person. Life’s so short and precious we only have one choice…
- Love hard
- Kiss passionately
- Accept differences
- Appreciate differences
- Laugh and smile as much as you can
- Try something spontaneous
- Live like you love life
- Take the chances while you have them
Have a beautiful day and thank you, thank you, thank you for reading my thoughts!
Find me on social media 😍 I haven’t mastered Periscope or Snapchat yet, but I will!
Let me first start by saying… I am not feeling this semester! Like, seriously! It’s a ton of work, but I’m capable of it. It’s normal to just be over it, right?
See, instead of finishing my homework… I’m blogging. Ugh! What do you all do to stay focused on a day when you’re not in the mood or just tired? Music, food, text, coffee… Have your eyes ever been so dry from reading that the eye drops burn? 😂 Yes, that’s where I’m at now!
Ok, enough whining! The reality is, in my case Graduate School is necessary for my next professional goal. Do what it necessary to succeed! I can do this, remember how I just told you to be your own cheerleader? Time to break out the pom-poms!
It was so nice talking and having you all there to listen! Time to hit the books, but first I’ll grab a snack and some tea!
Until next time…
There are so many things that I can say about this subject, but I will keep it brief.
- Don’t take life to seriously, try to be silly once in awhile!
- Take time each day to appreciate the person you are!
- Don’t try to be perfect, be apologetically you!
- Make the changes in yourself that you desire from others!
- Stop pretending you’re ok, when you’re really aren’t.
- It’s ok, to not be ok.
- Please exercise and eat right (if you’re not already). Life’s to short to be unhealthy on purpose! (I’ll post a quick 30 minute workout and grocery list this week as well).
- If you find someone that loves you for exactly who you are, love them back. Love is beautiful! Be real.
- Be your own cheer leader.
- Ask for help if you need it!
- Create a daily ritual that sets the tone for your day!
- If you want to reinvent yourself, why not start today?
- Try something new
- Pay it forward!
- And last but not least, try to relax a little. Sometimes we overthink, stress and completely panic over things that may not matter in a week. Relax, smile, laugh and live!
Look in the mirror and blow a kiss to that gorgeous person! Love and respect starts with you!