Tag Archives: Men

Love/Job requirements??

If we were chosen for relationships based on our experience and qualifications, would you hire yourself? Do you believe that the things that you require in a relationship go both ways? Many times people have expectations for others, but they do not meet the standards they themselves are looking for. Is it fair to be so particular if you do not bring the same things to the table? Thoughts?

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The Power of Intimacy…

Today, we are going all the way there! You asked, I obliged. Let’s go…

If you close your eyes right now, can you feel his or her touch? Can you smell their perfume or cologne? Can you see their face and quite possibly taste them? It’s interesting, isn’t it? Is it intoxicating to the point where you can’t stop yourself? Do you have to stop yourself? Does it cross your mind so many times that it’s actually distracting? Are you wondering if they are thinking of you? How can you be so absolutely drawn to another human being? Is it the sex, the connection or the love? Is it worse for women or men? Is it the intertwining of souls that sticks to you? Are you drawn to one another without any help? Intimacy is not all about sex. Is this person your soul companion? Do you only get one soul companion? Can their be many? Let’s talk…

We all have a love language. The problem is, so many people are involved with others that do not know what it is. Furthermore, sometimes you don’t even know what yours is. Discovering how you love and how you need to be loved can take you down a path full of questions.

  • What is my love language?
  • Can I teach him or her?
  • Is this person my soulmate?
  • How important is intimacy?
  • Are we meant to be together?
  • Am I already happy?
  • Am I relying on him/her to make me happy?

Can you look past intimacy in a relationship because of years in the relationship or love? Do you believe that love and intimacy are the same?

In my opinion: Soul mates, intimacy, love, sex, faithful, friendships… Powerful words with vastly different meanings. A soul mate is a person with feelings of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality. This type of person is your connection when you are not even speaking. They know what you need and how to love you, even if they are not the person that you are in-love with or involved with. You fall into a soul companion arena once you find that the person is deep in your soul, be mindful, you may not be married to or even dating this person.

With all this being said, sometimes you are meant to watch the person fall in love with other people and stand by and watch. Your position in their life may be to provide an unconditional love and remain consistent, but never their mate. You can be honest though. Your role may be the fixer or just the friend. If you have never crossed the sexually intimate line, this may not be too difficult, but it will suck! If you have crossed the sexually intimate line, this is a different story. Let’s just say that the sex was good, not bad, not out of this world to where your thoughts are skewed. Good, but the connection is great or at least you thought so. The connection feels electric, making you feel amorous intoxication (next blog post). Is it now a little better because of the previous bond between you? Now you have new feelings, but they aren’t new, just intensified. You must decide what to do with this emotional overload and do your best to get a grip.

It may be quite overwhelming at first, but you will recover and either go back to being the unconditional lover friend or move forward into a relationship. Still, you should be grateful to have one another, some people go a lifetime without this relationship. It is likely that you will just return to who you previously were. Simply because… All soul companions aren’t meant to be together.


The Great Pretender…

I’m sure you’ve discovered that you have been this person at some or several points in your life.


Well look at you! Always on point and unbothered. The epitome of a well balanced person. Lie!! Hello Pretender.

There may be a point where you’ve become another person, but you’re unsure when it happened. So many things have brought you to this place. You’ve watched others become this person and you offered love and support to get them back on track. Now it’s your turn to take a spin on the downward spiral. This spiral has you completely out of character, overly emotional, questionable thoughts and constant confusion. All while pretending that it’s normal.


Now here comes the interesting part… So although you feel this way, you smile and make others comfortable and even happy. Heck, you even laugh and smile because you’ve somehow convinced yourself that you’re ok. Besides, that’s the way your people prefer you to be… Strong, together and unmoved. That makes them comfortable. Low and behold, the tears capture you because guess what? You’re not ok!

  • Why is it that people feel the need to hide what they are actually going through, in order to make others feel better. Including their significant others.
  • Why is it that people are so narcissistic that they have this idea that your only problems involve them?
  • Why do people feel ashamed to be sad, depressed,  stressed or just funky?

It’s ok. Really. It’s ok to not feel like yourself or to be any or all of the above ⬆️ emotions. Just find an outlet. Stop pretending because eventually it will catch up with you and it will be difficult to control.

So many of us are walking around just pretending and have no idea.

My advice… Take some time and try to find your way back to “YOU”!
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Am I destined to stay single??

So you’re in a relationship for 6 months ( timeframe may vary) and decide to move in together. However, you still have a wandering eye or lustful thoughts for others. So now you want your space and think it is time to take a break even though you really care deeply for this person. You now start second guessing whether or not you should even be in a relationship. Sound familiar? Well, let me give you my thoughts on the subject….

People that are in successful and happy marriages for 25 years, have found themselves looking at other people (which we discussed in the previous post). Having lustful thoughts can be very bad depending on the actions that follow. I’m a realist so please understand when I say the actions, not the thoughts, are the bigger deal. When you love someone, you have to consider how you would feel if the tables were turned. All these ingredients aren’t a recipe for staying single unless you want it to be. Everything worth having is worth fighting for. It’s not often that you meet a person that loves you completely, not for what you can do for them, but because of who you are. Their complete acceptance of you. We are all flawed with baggage but real love isn’t that common, so if you find it, grab it! If you decide to go along with a break, see how you feel without the person. If you feel empty, then rethink that decision. If you feel free, then you made the right decision.

The best start to a relationship, is a friendship. People are more forgiving of their friends, than their lovers. Friendships make the relationship stronger and places it on a better foundation. Things go wrong in love, but cutting and running because of fear or claustrophobia are not good reasons to lose out on a good thing. No one is perfect and loving is a learning process and relationship are balancing acts. Make it happen!


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Fantasy…

It’s Freaky Friday, so why not!!!

Ah yes… yours is so sexy, you feel it every time you climb into bed, daydream at your desk, stand in the shower, or have mundane conversations with people. That fantasy crosses your mind every silent moment you have. You know the one….

You close your eyes and it begins…. you’re suddenly in a room. A beautifully decorated room. The person comes over to greet you. Sweet kisses, hand holding, pressed against the door because the passion doesn’t allow you to move much further. That kiss is delicious, intoxicating. You wore a dress because… that’s sexy for this fantasy. Hands gently rub your thighs up your dress to remove your panties. You’re carried to the nearest wall mirror and passionately kissed on your lips, cheeks, and neck. He stands you up on the floor and turns you toward the wall length mirror. He pulls your dress up and over. Kisses the length of your spine, shoulders, neck. Your eyes are open as you watch him in the mirror. His hands explore every inch as he gently bends you over. You brace on the mirror as passionate love making ensues. Before your knees get weaker, he pulls out and carries you to the bed to lay you down. He kisses you down your body. Neck, collarbone, chest, breasts, stomach, hips, a sweet kiss on the yoni, thighs, toes. Back up the legs, thighs, as he gently parts your legs, he wraps his arms around your thighs and pulls your yogi closer to his lips. As he kisses, licks, kisses, licks…. your back arches, you bite your lip, reaching down to caress his head as you moan his name and tell him how you feel. He’s like an artist painting a picture with his tongue. Soft, slow, precise. He kisses your hips and thighs as he enters you deeply. You gasp! The thrusts are long, deep and it’s soaking wet…… Good morning dolls! Happy Friday!

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Happiness….

Sometimes we travel this life in search of something. You may never truly know what it is until you stumble across it. The thought of it makes you smile. You close your eyes and there it is right before you. Happiness.

It comes in many forms. So often we voluntarily sacrifice ourselves for the happiness of others. Or we accept the ill conduct of others that we are scared to lose.  Know that it is absolutely ok to have expectations of others. You can expect that they treat you with love, respect and concern for your well being if they are in your life as friends or lovers. That expectations means that you show ppl how to treat you. Be the type of person you want others to be to you. They may not, but you can certainly expect that ppl treat you a certain way or be willing to walk away. If it is not in accordance with what you desire to be Happy in this life, you can absolutely walk away. We must stop doing what others deem the “right” thing when it comes to our lives. Consider what makes you happy. There are no guarantees in this life and for all we know, there’s only one shot at it!

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Dark Shadows…

Life is full of twists and turns. The unexpected can make it both exciting and terrifying, especially with matters of the heart. Sometimes you open yourself up to things and people that you know could potentially hurt you. Because aren’t love and pain inevitable? How long do you give without receiving? How long do you let pain supersede love? Or do you? Matters of the heart are tricky but the more you give, the more vulnerable you are, the more you could be taken advantage of. We are not always cognizant of how we affect others. Life moves so fast that we may not even care. Nevertheless, punches must be rolled with. Does this mean you should hide in the dark shadows of hurt and pain? No, it just means you should be aware that “hurt people, hurt people”…

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Imagination…

Let’s exploit your senses! Clear your mind. Now think back to your most passionate encounter. Was it recent? Close your eyes and just think about it……………….

Did you lick or bite your lip from the thought? Did you rub your legs together? Did your breathing become faster, heavier?  Did you find yourself practicing kegels at just the thought of that encounter? Did you manhood come to attention to join the party?

There is something so electrifying about a great kisser. Especially when they smell amazing. Can you smell them right now? Did you feel the kiss on your lips, either pair? Yes, that. The softness of his lips. Her gentle kisses on your neck. The gentle caress of his hands as he takes control of your body. The teasing way she rubs your inner thigh. He pays close attention to where his lips travel. She slowly slides down as you discover her warm oasis. He knows what you need before you do. He moves slowly, deliberately, seductively. She  slowly but deeply winds. He brings out the best and the nastiest in you, Hell, he’s even a mind reader because you were hoping he would lick and suck right there. His lips and your yoni are made for one another and he knows. You didn’t expect her to lick you there, damn blindfold. What is that vibration, then wetness…Ah yes, that’s it.

This encounter, where does it take place? Is it typical, like the bedroom or naughty like the park in the evening? Does he slip his finger up your skirt in the elevator or love you down in the back seat of the car? Are there toys involved? Blindfolds, fruits, feathers, roses, oil, chocolates, handcuffs? Were you senses driven wild?

Let’s just sit that right there and rest in your encounter.

Have a sexy day!

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Real love…

If you’ve ever said the words “I’m in love with you” you completely understand where I am headed with this post.  I feel like the people that met the love of their life at a young age, got married and are happy (what I call “one lovers”), are lucky. Not because they have been together forever, but because they have only been in love with one person. As a woman, it is difficult, damn near impossible to shake a person you’ve loved, been in love with and shared yourself with on an intimate level. The reason I say that the “one lovers” are lucky is because they don’t have the feel the pull of love. Just a thought…

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