Tag Archives: partners

Freedom of Love…

The most confusing parts about love, is being in it by yourself and freeing yourself to allow it. That moment when you realize that you’ve fallen in the deep end with no life jacket. How does the other person feel? Do they feel territorial, is it self preservation or love? You have no real idea. You’re a lover by nature, but not easy to trust and give your heart. So when you do, it’s pretty authentic. Your natural empathic abilities lead you to care deeply for many but only truly love a few. You had no plans of falling, but isn’t that how life works? Loving freely can be a catch 22 for those that have control issues. You have this constant urge to take it back but it’s already out there. The ultimate level of vulnerability. It says that not only have you allowed yourself to give of yourself freely, but you’ve given up controlling what life says should be freed. Love.

Why must we complicate it? Either you do or you don’t, right? Ha!! Complication is the human way! How do you even know when someone truly loves you? Does it matter if it’s one-sided? What about love languages? Is it the verbiage of “I love you”? The way they act? Which means more to you? Does not knowing make you feel deflated? Lessen your love? Wish you could rewind and erase it?

I often wonder why so many people are afraid of loving or speaking in love. Is it because of the possibility of being hurt? Unrequited love? Their past lovers? Childhood? Loving too soon? Isn’t that a testament to the other person? I’m a firm believer that you get one chance at this life. Even if reincarnation, recycling of souls or any variation of such actually occurs, you won’t know. Therefore, we get this one shot. Stop being so afraid of loving people. Living is about loving. I know, I know, loving without being loved back sucks ass! Trust me, I know. The heart wants what the heart wants. When it’s not returned, it kind of creates that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach and you just want to run away (see, told you I understand)! That doesn’t mean that closing yourself off is the healthy option. It’s not! That’s their issue to address in life, not yours. Be willing to walk that walk of love with them, but only if you know it’s what they want as well. Never force love. Love is the easy part. If you’re not sure, take a few steps back to reassess. Give your heart a break. Give them the space they made need. Be open and honest with both your words and your actions. Sometimes you must let that person go to remain the loving being that you are. Someone will come along and thrive on that love, but you must be open and willing.

If you’re the person on the opposite end of the lover, consider their feelings and adjust accordingly. Sometimes that involves letting them go because you can’t be what they need. Life’s too short for anything else.




It’s Freaky Friday, so why not!!!

Ah yes… yours is so sexy, you feel it every time you climb into bed, daydream at your desk, stand in the shower, or have mundane conversations with people. That fantasy crosses your mind every silent moment you have. You know the one….

You close your eyes and it begins…. you’re suddenly in a room. A beautifully decorated room. The person comes over to greet you. Sweet kisses, hand holding, pressed against the door because the passion doesn’t allow you to move much further. That kiss is delicious, intoxicating. You wore a dress because… that’s sexy for this fantasy. Hands gently rub your thighs up your dress to remove your panties. You’re carried to the nearest wall mirror and passionately kissed on your lips, cheeks, and neck. He stands you up on the floor and turns you toward the wall length mirror. He pulls your dress up and over. Kisses the length of your spine, shoulders, neck. Your eyes are open as you watch him in the mirror. His hands explore every inch as he gently bends you over. You brace on the mirror as passionate love making ensues. Before your knees get weaker, he pulls out and carries you to the bed to lay you down. He kisses you down your body. Neck, collarbone, chest, breasts, stomach, hips, a sweet kiss on the yoni, thighs, toes. Back up the legs, thighs, as he gently parts your legs, he wraps his arms around your thighs and pulls your yogi closer to his lips. As he kisses, licks, kisses, licks…. your back arches, you bite your lip, reaching down to caress his head as you moan his name and tell him how you feel. He’s like an artist painting a picture with his tongue. Soft, slow, precise. He kisses your hips and thighs as he enters you deeply. You gasp! The thrusts are long, deep and it’s soaking wet…… Good morning dolls! Happy Friday!



Sometimes we travel this life in search of something. You may never truly know what it is until you stumble across it. The thought of it makes you smile. You close your eyes and there it is right before you. Happiness.

It comes in many forms. So often we voluntarily sacrifice ourselves for the happiness of others. Or we accept the ill conduct of others that we are scared to lose.  Know that it is absolutely ok to have expectations of others. You can expect that they treat you with love, respect and concern for your well being if they are in your life as friends or lovers. That expectations means that you show ppl how to treat you. Be the type of person you want others to be to you. They may not, but you can certainly expect that ppl treat you a certain way or be willing to walk away. If it is not in accordance with what you desire to be Happy in this life, you can absolutely walk away. We must stop doing what others deem the “right” thing when it comes to our lives. Consider what makes you happy. There are no guarantees in this life and for all we know, there’s only one shot at it!


Dark Shadows…

Life is full of twists and turns. The unexpected can make it both exciting and terrifying, especially with matters of the heart. Sometimes you open yourself up to things and people that you know could potentially hurt you. Because aren’t love and pain inevitable? How long do you give without receiving? How long do you let pain supersede love? Or do you? Matters of the heart are tricky but the more you give, the more vulnerable you are, the more you could be taken advantage of. We are not always cognizant of how we affect others. Life moves so fast that we may not even care. Nevertheless, punches must be rolled with. Does this mean you should hide in the dark shadows of hurt and pain? No, it just means you should be aware that “hurt people, hurt people”…



Let’s exploit your senses! Clear your mind. Now think back to your most passionate encounter. Was it recent? Close your eyes and just think about it……………….

Did you lick or bite your lip from the thought? Did you rub your legs together? Did your breathing become faster, heavier?  Did you find yourself practicing kegels at just the thought of that encounter? Did you manhood come to attention to join the party?

There is something so electrifying about a great kisser. Especially when they smell amazing. Can you smell them right now? Did you feel the kiss on your lips, either pair? Yes, that. The softness of his lips. Her gentle kisses on your neck. The gentle caress of his hands as he takes control of your body. The teasing way she rubs your inner thigh. He pays close attention to where his lips travel. She slowly slides down as you discover her warm oasis. He knows what you need before you do. He moves slowly, deliberately, seductively. She  slowly but deeply winds. He brings out the best and the nastiest in you, Hell, he’s even a mind reader because you were hoping he would lick and suck right there. His lips and your yoni are made for one another and he knows. You didn’t expect her to lick you there, damn blindfold. What is that vibration, then wetness…Ah yes, that’s it.

This encounter, where does it take place? Is it typical, like the bedroom or naughty like the park in the evening? Does he slip his finger up your skirt in the elevator or love you down in the back seat of the car? Are there toys involved? Blindfolds, fruits, feathers, roses, oil, chocolates, handcuffs? Were you senses driven wild?

Let’s just sit that right there and rest in your encounter.

Have a sexy day!


Valentines Day

Valentines Day.

Sex: quality or quantity

Sex: quality or quantity.

Closed Mouths Don’t Get Fed!!

Ladies! Gentlemen! Please, if your person ( husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, jump off, sideline, or lover) isn’t doing what you need done, speak now!! Don’t just silently complain or throw a fit. Speak up. Sex should not be a chore. Every person should know the feeling of wall climbing, back aching, stuttering sex. It should not be the drawbridge to get to your television show or football game.  Some people have strange fetishes, you don’t have to agree, but do try something new. I always say, “keep it spicy”! Lingerie, candle wax, food, whips (if that’s your thing), cuffs, swings, beads, whatever your preference, please eliminate your mundane sex life. Time to recharge, closed mounts don’t get fed!

Self Pleasure

Self Pleasure.

Intimacy after the baby!!!!

So I’ve been away from this blog for quite sometime, but put a lot of work into its successor (www.themommyconfidentials.com). I was away for the last trimester and first few months of my daughter’s life. As we all know, after the 6 week check up (some move much faster, lol) our mates are ready for some action! Now some women may say “he has lost his mind, I just a pushed a baby out, and I want nothing going in”!! He’s thinking “well damn, it’s been some months now! Let’s get it on”! A baby does not equal no sex life. You need your relationship and the intimacy.So here comes a crossroad, how do you both get what you want? After a baby, women tend to feel a little overwhelmed. Creating a helpful atmosphere will help her get into the mood. Take some responsibility off of her hands so that she doesn’t have a headache and isn’t tired. And that additional help will earn you some brownie points. Here’s a great scenario. Once the evening comes around, prepare dinner and tidy up afterwards.mgive the baby a bath and feed, if the child is not breastfed. Even if you are tired, you know your goal, so you have to sacrifice your rest 🙂 Once you have lightened your load, go to her, kiss her gently and when she says… I have a ton of stuff to do. You Sam I took care of it! Boom!!!! She’s done, and you should be well on your way between the sheets.

Now ladies, I completely understand being tired, having a headache, mild pain from healing the past 6 weeks, and just not feeling like it. Just remember that, every time you say no. Remember that one day he will stop asking or in some cases, begging. One day his head will hurt, he’ll be tired, or just won’t want you. That feeling of rejection will hurt, so why do the same to him. Men have feelings as well. A relationship is like a plant, you nurture and water it, if you fail to do so, it dies. Getting alone time is difficult when you have children, so get creative.
* Have a hotel room in your home. A room that you escape to in order to become step 2….
* Role play. I wrote an article about this topic. When you’re in a relationship, it is best to keep it spicy. You be Brad and she can be Angeline, or Halle and Billy Bob, when they were on “Monstera Ball”! We all remember that scene!!!!
*Schedule a date. There is no reason to not a have a babysitter every now and then in order to grab a bite to eat,
* My favorite piece of advice….TOUCH!!! Kiss one another through the day. Caress one another, make out like teenagers.
* Talk, be honest with one another. This is your partner. If you can’t tell each other, then who??

Find ways to show each other that you do appreciate them. Men and women think differently. Remember that when you are feeling some kind of way. No one is a mind reader. Discuss new fetish, dislikes, and possibilities that you may be one to. It’s all worth a try!!!

Until next time: keep it spicy! {Tarah D}

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